Darkness glows. I cannot explain it. It just is. I cannot argue it. I just know it. Whilst everyone is seeking light desperately asking for prayers to be answered, and questioning why God does not answer them – are usually asking for a change in their circumstances, I am content with the darkness. I find God, and the darkness glows with light. In the darkness I am stripped of all that does not matter. In the darkness I find the greatest light I have ever known. In this, I must not fear. The present is what I have got and the present is alive with life and glowing with light. I meet people all the time who are dissatisfied and who are seeking something different. People without peace. Even Christians. They will not find peace until they seek the Cross. Until they realise that God’s peace is not of this world – not to do with the things of this world. The key to making the darkness glow is to embrace it. To let it embrace YOU. In the darkness you are sanctified. In the darkness you find detachment. In the darkness you find peace. Not without pain and struggle. But you find it. Your wrestling is because you want to hang onto the things of this world. Your wrestling is because you forget – because you are seduced by the desires and the values of THIS world. Because you forget that we are set apart. The minute I forget that, I flounder. The minute I try to get out of my darkness, I lose my light. And I sink

2 thoughts on “Darkness glows. I cannot explain it. It just is. I cannot argue it. I just know it. Whilst everyone is seeking light desperately asking for prayers to be answered, and questioning why God does not answer them – are usually asking for a change in their circumstances, I am content with the darkness. I find God, and the darkness glows with light. In the darkness I am stripped of all that does not matter. In the darkness I find the greatest light I have ever known. In this, I must not fear. The present is what I have got and the present is alive with life and glowing with light. I meet people all the time who are dissatisfied and who are seeking something different. People without peace. Even Christians. They will not find peace until they seek the Cross. Until they realise that God’s peace is not of this world – not to do with the things of this world. The key to making the darkness glow is to embrace it. To let it embrace YOU. In the darkness you are sanctified. In the darkness you find detachment. In the darkness you find peace. Not without pain and struggle. But you find it. Your wrestling is because you want to hang onto the things of this world. Your wrestling is because you forget – because you are seduced by the desires and the values of THIS world. Because you forget that we are set apart. The minute I forget that, I flounder. The minute I try to get out of my darkness, I lose my light. And I sink

  1. blindzanygirl

    Thankyou for reading this Deborah. And thankyou for comnenting on it. It obviously rings true with you too. In fact, I wrote this quite a while ago. I didn’t know that I had pisted it on this site. But it is, in my mind, a miracle that you have found it today. And I see that you have read and liked other pists of mine about the darkness.

    I am more than moved that you have found this post and comnented in such a way, for there is a story behind it. I wrote it when I had started to go REALLY blind. I had accepted my blindness as a gift. As I had done my cancer. A guft, because it brought me into a spiritual realm like no other. A closeness to God in accepting His will for my lufe even if it involved suffering great,y – which it DID. Not that God SENDS suffering, but that together with Him, we can USE it of the greater good. I.e. Redemptive suffering.

    So, at that time, I think it was in 2016 or 17, I meditated on this a LOT, and came to some deep understandings. About the darkness. The !uminous Darkness, it is a kong story actually. I was persecuted a LOT by other Christians for things like not waving back at them when they waved and smiled at me, and calked stand offish and stuck up, for not waving back. They then accused me of the sin of pride. It was an AWFUL time.

    I was hurting SO badly. I had only not waved and smiled back because I could not SEE them. It was cruel.

    Then, in this deep deep pain, I went to this luttle Church that I actualky wrote about in here the other day. It was night tome, VERY VERY dark in there. I can still tell lught from dark. As I sat there on my own in the Church, feeling like stone, because the pain was so great, and I was wondering what I was doing there because I could no longer relate to God, people, or anything, I felt the darkness itself suddenly put its arms around me and hold me and comfort me. Not God, but the DARKNESS. I was SO comforted. It was a MIRACLE. I left that Church a different person. Alive and well again – inside, spiritually and emotionally. Yet I had said no prayers or anything like that. I hadn’t even known why I had gone there.

    After that, I wrote this experience down to Father Dominic, a very very spiritual priest whom I respected very much. I don’t like or respect many Catholic priests. But thus man was truly spiritual.

    He read it (exactly this here that I posted and that you have just read) and told me that his spirit SANG as he read it. He said that I was on a particular path that no one else much would understand. So I would be mostly alone on it. He was RIGHT. But hus wirds gave me the greatest oeace I have ever had in my life.

    He then was taken away from me. He got Lymohatic cancer! The same cancer as mine! He had to have treatment and then leave. He told me to cintinue on thus, my path, without a Guide, but that I would be ok.

    Well, I did continue. But then I fell off it for various reasons. I got stuck. I got lersecuted within my church, the Catholic church, by other priests. I had done nothing except be blind and in a wheekchair. They disliked me because they could not face my state or my suffering. So they pushed me out.

    I turned to a Church of England priest just for comfkrt in my suffering. Jonathon he was called. He seemed fine, though we did not talk about my spiritual path. He is actually gay. We were good friends.

    Then, the other week, he turned on me and attacked me. Said some TERRIBLE things to me, like I had not accepted my blindness, was doing nothing to help myself, and lots of other things. He assassinated me. I could not deal with it or get over it. I wrote about it in here but not the details. I was knocked to the ground.

    Then, quite out of the blue and by chance, on Wednesday I found myself back outside that little church again where the darkness had put its arms around me. I had not planned to go there and it was on a bad day physicalky for me, and even on good days I normally cannot travel that far.

    I could not go into the church because I was too sick. But it was a momentous day for me.

    The next day (yesterday) I went back. I tried to get into the church but could only get halfway up the path. I intend to go back today.

    But the miracle is that I am back on the path again, avter a out two years off it.

    YOU are now part of that miracle Deborah, because you found this post and comnented on it. You brought back to me that very piece that I wrote to Father Dominic, that put me on the path originally. That path? THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL as in St. John of the Cross where it originated, and the path of Redemptive Suffering.

    You are part of an amazing miracle Debirah. You and I are likned in spirit.

    God bless you dear Deborah, and your own very painful but sometimes joyous path too. Uch much much love and many hugs to you. You have just confirmed to me without a doubt that I am being calked back to this path. Much much live ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Like

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