SURRENDERING

Surrendering to the darkness I sit,
Letting its arms wrap around me, rock me,
For by no other is my dark life lit,
Only in the dark can I truly see,
Waves of peace wash over my aching soul,
Soothing, calming my ever raging storm,
For I have tried so long to reach a goal
Not of my own making, how I was torn,
I knew that in the dark there was more light,
For in the dark I see with different eyes,
The eyes that walk by faith and not by sight,
And in the darkness now my spirits rise,
The light deceives false comfort offers me,
Embracing dark I can be truly free.

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HOME

Like a homing pigeon,
To this place,
It was meant for this time,
All through the years it had waited for me,
And I for it,
Though far distant, connected
By some silken strand,
And now, in my time of sorrow and weeping,
In my darkest of all nights,
The evening of my life,
I return to meditate, to think, and to pray,
While the wood pigeons call,
And the rowan fruits, splashing its blood red berries in darkening sky,
Standing timeless,
Guarding the souls that have gone before,
Passed this way,
As I did too,
In the darkened night,
I remember,
And laugh,
And weep,
For what has gone
And never can be again.

Always this place was home,
I returned here again and again,
In darkest nights of childhood,
When my world rocked
In time with the boat shaped swings at the fairground
In the cold of the night
As together we swung dizzily
From high to low, low to high,
Face turned up to the sky,
Seeing stars,
Squealing with joy,
Tinged with fear.

And now,
My world again is marked by joy,
Tinged with fear,
My dark night has come again,
My world is rocked,
I know not which way it will go,
Up or down, or maybe both all at once,
For now I am blind,
Now my steps are halting,
Balance gone,
And in the chaos of cancer,
I find peace here,
In the place I call home,
Under the sturdy rowan tree

THE WILDERNESS

Hard rocks, scorching by day, cold at night
The wilderness is where I dwell
The darkness comes, earth’s powers I fight

I stumble and fall, I have lost my sight
My story now I wish to tell
Hard rocks, scorching by day, cold at night

As I fall, desolation begins to bite
I hear once again the tolling bell
The darkness comes, earth’s powers I fight

Fiends force me down with such great might
They seem to know me oh so well
Hard rocks, scorching by day, cold at night

These were not angels clothed in light
They came so close as in grief I fell
The darkness comes, earth’s powers I fight

My song rises now, up to the height
My spirit fought now my heart does swell
Hard rocks scorching by day, cold at night
The darkness comes, earth’s powers I fight

ROOTS

I went in search of my roots one day
And found a rowan tree
Its berries red spoke of red red blood
In the growing red of the sky
And I knew that red described most of my life
All taken into the blood of my Lord

It was just in time that I found my Lord
Salvation came to me that day
Hell on earth had been my life
I cried when I saw the rowan tree
Darker grew the evening sky
I thought of the Lamb’s shed blood

As a child I had been immsersed in blood
But not the blood of my Lord
Though I knew above me there was blue sky
Darker and darker grew each day
I did not jnow that there was a tree
That was the Tree of Life

Pain had followed me all of my life
I didn’t want to see the blood
But now I saw in the rowan tree
The bleeding wounds of my Lord
Now it was a diferent day
I knew there was blue in the sky

Though blind now, I still can see the sky
As I contemplate my life
Darker now is every day
Redder is my blood
But not as red as the blood of my Lord
Or the berries on the rowan tree

I will sit beneath the rowan tree
Whatever the colour of the sky
Drinking in the love of my Lord
The Saviour of my life
Knowing His redeeming blood
At the ending of my day

One day I sat in the darkening sky
Where the rowan tree told me of my life
Its berries then the colour of blood that spoke of the blood of my Lord