THE HANDBAG AND THE POLICE CELL

This story is true except that I didn’t land up in the police station!

FROM A CELL IN THE POLICE STATION:-

What the hell am I doing in here
Lord? It wasn’t ny fault. It was his. It should be him in here, not me. Getting me on the floor like that. Sitting there on tbe settee looking down at me, all supercilious like. Who did he think he was? Oh yeah – a priest. Clinical Thelology my foot! More like a kick for him, at my expense.

He thought he was it! Arrogant so and so. There I was, on the floor, him telling me to say whatever came into my head. Well, I wasn’t going to tell him THAT!. He just sat there, silent, refusing to speak. It didn’t half make me mad. A whole hour this went on. And him, just sitting there looking down on me. What the hell did he think he was doing? Even when I didn’t speak, he refused to. I felt as though he was trying to get me, catch me out somehow. My head was getting in a right mess.

So there we were. And I was getting madder and madder. I began to wriggle and squirm on the floor. I remember that bit. And he just sat there, watching me. I’m sure he knew. Bet that was what he was trying to do. MAKE me mad. Something about getting anger out. Oh I know all these modern psychological methods. Well I wasn’t going to give anything. He wasn’t going to get inside MY head!

Told him to go, in the end. I wasn’t having any of it! But BOY, had he raised anger! He sure knew how to do it! But he got more than he bargained for!

I knew where he lived. I got madder and madder, even after he had gone. It was all going round in my head. He wasn’t going to get away with this.

I went round to his house. And Lord, You know the rest! Knocked on his door. He invited me in. Then he started going on about the man next door to him. Said he grew lots of flowers from seeds. Put the seed packets in sticks in the garden where he had planted the seeds. Gave a sarcastic laugh as he told me. Saw some ulterior motive in it. Typical flippin psychologist. Think they know what’s going on inside everyone’s head. And it’s always something bad. Thought the man was trying to show off and impress him by putting thr pictures of the flowers facing him. He never thought, did he, that the man had done it in oder to be able to read the backs.of the seed packets.m oh no, it had to be something nasty.

Well, already my mad was up, but this riled me even more. I’d only gone there to tell him off. I never intended what happened next. I swear to You I didn’t. The mad got the better of me and I whacked him with my handbag! On the side of his face. His glasses ended up all crooked on one side of his face, and he had a bright red mark on his cheek. He looked so surprised.
“I could take you to the police for this you know.”

“Yeah, and I could YOU, as well.”

Trouble is, he DID. And now I’m here Lord. What shall I do?

You know I didn’t set off to do it. My mad just got up, and he sure had put me in touch with my anger. He got more than he bargained for.

Just goes to show that you shouldn’t mess inside someone’s head.

But what am I going to do now Lord? I’M going to take the whack for this. I sure am not going to get entwined with a psychologist type ever again, once we have got out of this mess Lord. Can You help me?”

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