First impressions always count, they say, and mine proved to be right – but I could never have imagined what was about to happen. My whole life was turned inside out, and upside down. Fifty three years virtually disappeared, to be replaced by two and half bittersweet years – a roller coaster ride of stomach lurching highs and lows. Even now all this time later, I feel in a daze about what happened. I wake in the morning, feeling as if I am not really where I am, and full of fear. I have to force myself, by sheer effort of will to do the most ordinary things. Even on the most beautiful of days, with the sun shining, and everything to live for, I find myself drawn to that most awesome rock face, our trysting place – a place of death.

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