I never expected to see it,
Not here,
Not now,
Not ever,
A black spectre,
Blacker than black itself,
Masquerading as a human being.
The spectre shuffled,
Then was still,
And amongst the black i saw
A crescent,
Whiter than white itself,
Thin narrow strip of piety,
Dazzling me,
From blackest black,
Like row of teeth
Once seen,
Smiling, glistening, ludicrous,
Fixed in deceptive smile.
I never wanted to see him,
Not here,
Not now,
Not ever.
But i did,
Why shouldn’t i have?


How do I know You love me when so far
Are you remote from us beyond the stars?
How can I ever know You as You are
While here on earth held by my prison bars?
Here in my loneliness I cry to You
Knowing from traces that You are the Light
I need Your Light to touch me, see me through
Get me through the darkness of this long night
If only You would come to earth to dwell
That we could see Your face and know Your smile
Oh that we could know that all is well
If only for a very little while
And then I heard You gently telling me
“I came one day to earth to set you free.”


And when you can not go without
Go within
For there is no safer place to be
The cocoon of your true self
Which will always love you
And set you free
Without is full of illusions
Deceptions myriad
But within
You will find truth


O.K. So on Monday I had an “accident.” Still suffering from it. I was trying to get into my Church for Mass, and the outer doors into the corridor that leads into the Church are not disabled friendly. In fact they are illegal. They do not comply with either the Building Regulations or the Law.

So, there I was, in my power chair, blind, but wanting to get into Church for Mass. I need to be there. It is contact with people, for me, which I have very little of.

So, I approach the doors, which are huge heavy double doors, and as I get to them I stop, think for a minute how to open them. I know that the only way to do it is to guide my power chair in with my left hand on the jotstick whuch is on the right hand side of my power chair, and pull the right hand doir open with my right hand. The left hand door actually is fixed and does not open. Sooooo, I get this big heavy door part open but my arm will not stretch far enough to get it fully open. Never mind – I angle my power chair a little bit diagonally and then guide it through with my left hand, which is stretched across my body. Get the picture? No, I know, it’s hard.

At a certain point I have to let go of this right hand door to allow myself to move forwards. This I do, but SUDDENLY I find myself spinning at breakneck speed round to the left. I do an almost 180 degree turn, crashing into a metal sign board as I do. I am not sure where I end up, but I let out a HUGE yell as I hit the sign board. My body is always in pain anyway, so this is NOT good news. I am stunned for a few minutes, and do not quite know how I am going to get out of this mess. But my yell is enough to wake the dead, so someone eventually arrives from inside the Church, asking if I am okay. NO I AM NOT!

Well, I spend the rest of the day in shock. We report the accident to the priest, who says he will write it in the accident book!

Then, I am left. Just to get on with it.

I have had a week of bad pain, plus nervous shock. So if my poetry seems a bit black or “down” that is why. I am pissed off, fed up, and feeling angry and sorry for myself. No one from the Church, least of all the priest, has been by.

Sorry for the rant!


They were all gone
Berries plump with new life
Already their life had journeyed
Plucked from
Green tree
As the summer sun died in skies
Now grey, winter waiting
Offstage, while birds
Feast, store…….

To see them through
Dark days and raging storms
We too have a banquet prepared
Take, eat,
The delights there for the taking
Your soul
And live through the darkest of nights
Sustained by Love offered
Freely, just take
And live