OUR HEARTS DANCE

I walked with you today among the graves
Who says graves are not beautiful?
In them lie the most noble souls
And rascals too
Each with their own beauty
Underneath our feet the frozen grass
Crackling as we walk
Like the crackling flames of love
Do we ever forget to love
Our hearts dance in the frozen forest
To the tune of the Universe
Lithesome and free
Floating
Flowing
On the dancing breeze
Oh grave
Where is your victory?

SCREAM

I came across a scream one day
A’lying on the ground
I wondered where it had come from
Where could it’s home be found

I looked at it and saw it’s face
It was so full of pain
Contorted, writhing, pride all gone
I thought it was a game

“What are you doing here?” I said
It couldn’t answer me
It cried and groaned so terribly
Then silence fell on me

How could a scream be so bereft
It really should be heard
It’s loneliness did tear my heart
I couldn’t find a word

Some people came and looked at it
Said “What the hell is that?”
They stood and stared with open mouths
And then they went so flat

The scream jumped up and shocked them all
Oh what a pitiful sight
It found a mouth to be its home
It gave it such a fright

It rolled around in its new home
The owner filled with pain
She gasped and cried “Oh help me please
This scream I can’t contain

It must come out for all to hear
I have to let it go”
She opened wide her mouth right then
And tears began to flow

So let your scream come out my child
Don’t hold it deep within
Open your mouth and let it go
And live within your skin

BLAST OFF

Blast off
Do you hear me
I go up in the air
To the tune that you sing
Only
The song
Is not a pretty one but harsh
Grating cacophony
A web of lies
Haunting

Pieces
Of me blasted
All around in the wake
Of your categorisation
Insult
After
Insult that did not become you
You should have known better
Did you not learn
Silence

Glued back
Together now
I am whole again though
Scarred by your words that assaulted
My soul
Still lives
Though I walked through the fire blazing
Never could your words kill
I stand here strong
And proud

ASHES TO ASHES

They say the soul leaves your body when you die
Mine has left already
Am I dead?
Your blows blew it away
And now it floats
Silently
Like a silent scream looking for a home
But there is no home
Its destiny is alienation
Like the dust
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Deep in the dark soil it settles
Dug in as you dug my grave

FREEDOM

Slowly my eyes open to the morning
I rub away the memories of yesterday
The new day drops into my vision
I greet it with all that I have within me

I rub away the memories of yesterday
A blank page sits before me
I greet it with all that I have within me
What will my life write today?

A blank page sits before me
White unblemished stain free
What will my life write today?
All creation sits in my fingers

White unblemished stain free
Nothing to tarnish the life in my soul
All creation sits in my fingers
I hold it now with holy awe

Nothing to tarnish the life in my soul
Freedom fills the space that I made
I hold it now with holy awe
Ready to dwell in this sacred space

Freedom fills the space that I made
My wings have grown strong and soon I will fly
I hold them now with holy awe
Poised in anticipation of the flight

My wings have grown strong and soon I will fly
Though the world hangs heavy around my neck
Poised in anticipation of the flight
I break through the barriers make this new space

Though the world hangs heavy around my neck
I’m light as a dewdrop within my soul
Slowly my eyes open to the morning
I rub away the memories of yesterday

MAY THE LIGHT NOT GROW DIM

Much time has passed since I came to this place
I hear names I know but the people have gone
I remember times past and the peace I knew then
My soul yearns to build a new world from the old

I hear names I know but the people have gone
There in the sioil my ancestors lie
My soul yearns to build a new world from the old
But is it too late for my time will soon come

There in the soil my ancestors lie
Their graves are unkempt for nobody cared
Is it too late for my time will soon come
The party is over and everyone’s gone

Their graves are unkempt for nobody cared
For the lives that were lived and the deeds that were done
The party is over and everyone’s gone
But the place is not empty for my memory lives on

For the lives that were lived and the deeds that were done
I offer my prayers in this beautiful place
The place is not empty my memory lives on
And I re-live the years that I had as a child

I offer my prayers in this beautiful place
That the light will shine on and never grow dim
I re-live the years that I had as a child
As the horses come by and remind me of home

May the light shine on here and never grow dim
In perpetuity give them the peace that they earned
The horses come by and remind me of home
My coffin will one day be drawn by them here

In perpetuity give them the peace that they earned
May it come to me too for my time will soon come
Much time has passed since I came to this place
I hear names I know but the people have gone

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CRADLED IN THE ARMS OF THE NIGHT

Cradled in the arms of the night
The child assaulted, beaten, torn
She rests from the arrows of the fight

Vulnerable, this her plight
Waiting fot the coming dawn
Cradled in the arms of the night

Many cannot bear the sight
Of pain in the one who thus was borne
She rests from the arrows of the fight

Everyone talks about the light
Not seeing the pain within her form
Cradled in the arms of the night

None can understand the fright
Of the one that is lying so forlorn
She rests from the arrows of the fight

Alone this being feels the might
Of evil’s grip, in the gathering storm
Cradled in the arms of the night
She rests from the arrows of the fight

THE GRAVEYARD

I sat again where the graveyard lies
Thinking of souls who had once passed by
Here in this place I began my life
Such stories were told of the souls that lay there

Thinking of souls who had once passed by
I connected with pain and grief and joy
Such stories were told of the souls that lay there
But I was a wanderer absent from home

I connected with pain and grief and joy
And maybe my own was somehow there too
For I was a wanderer absent from home
But now I was back and here I would stay

Maybe my own was somehow there too
For many adventures through the years I had known
But now I was back and here I woukd stay
To find rest and peace in this place of my birth

Many adventures through the years I had known
Each took its toll on my soul deep within
I’d come to find rest in this place of my birth
Was it now possible for I was so old

Each took its toll on my soul deep within
The Church clock was stopped but had time stood still?
Was peace now possible, I had grown old
Eternity waited and here I would lie

The Church clock had stopped but had time stood still?
Time is an illusion the mind may be fooled
I sat again where the graveyard lies
Thinking of souls who had once passed by

I WILL RISE AGAIN

I am not sure if I have already posted this. Sorry if I am repeating myself. This poem makes me feel happy.

Yesterday we went back
Sat once again where herons fished
And magpies, caught by the wind
Fell off wooden posts
Where once the geese arrived from foreign climes
With loud chattering announcing their arrival
And at the water’s edge mallards, dancing their own ungainly dance
And as we sat
Transported back in time
To days before cancer and blindness
Herons now gone
Symbols of resurrection
I wondered
Will I rise again
Or forever be chained to this body
And deep within me
I knew as magpies called
And swallows dived
That yes indeed
To the call of nature
I would rise again

#FOWC. RESORT. Seduced by a Blackberry.

FOWC with Fandango — Resort

“Oh THOSE eyes,” mooned Reg, as he edged closer and closer to her.

Susie wondered what on earth was going on. She had never spoken to Reg directly before, nor he to her. In fact, she had found him rather boring. He always hogged the conversation around the table, and she always switched off once he started up.

“Oh those deep pools,” he continued. “I KNOW those eyes, I’ve seen them before.”

Well, Susie was a bit dumbfounded. Her eyes had always been the source of irritation to her mother.

“You’ve got eyes like your father’s,” her mother would say, disparagingly.

“You’ve got eyes like Auntie Francie,”her grandmother would say. This, if she dared to flash them, even fleetingly.

So, to hear these words from Reg flummoxed her.

She felt herself backing away as he edged nearer to her. But he persisted.

It was a funny thing about Writing Groups. There was always SOMEONE whom Susie had problems with. And in a closed room, what could she do?

Reg persisted, and as everyone else was engaged in conversation with someone else, Susie felt trapped. In the end, she attempted to turn the conversation to something other than eyes! And strangely, she discovered that she and Reg had a few things in common. Indeed,the conversation got a bit more interesting.

“Why don’t we go for a walk one day down by the river?” Reg asked one time. Susie and he had become a little more friendly by this stage. She found that they had friends in common, and a common interest in the theatre. So they were never really stuck for conversation. Indeed, Susie even began to feel a bit sorry for Reg, as his wife was always out at church, and it seemed that there was little left between them. And so, Susie agreed to go for the walk. It was a well trodden path by the river, and there were always people around. So she felt quite safe.

It was quite a shock to Susie when she heard Reg say, quite out of the blue, “Even if I COULD invite you to my house I couldn’t satisfy you.”

Who the HELL did this guy think he was? It was too late now though. They were on the walk. Susie edged away from him, but that only made him move nearer to her. She should have known. She had been stupid. Inside, she was chastising herself. What an idiot she had been. Far far too trusting. But that was Susie. She was not worldly wise and certainly where men were concerned, she never quite got it.

But it was the blackberry. Suddenly, Reg came at her with a blackberry that he had pulled from the bush at the side of the path.

“Open your mouth,” Reg demanded.

“No,” she said.

“OPEN YOUR MOUTH,” Reg insisted.

Susie thought about giving him a good kick, but realised that she could find herself in some trouble if she did that. After all, what harm could a man do with a blackberry?

Reg came up close to her, still demanding that she open her mouth.

“As I can’t satisfy you properly I will have to RESORT to a blackberry,” Reg announced. And with that, Susie realised that the only way to shut the man up was to give in. Quickly and deftly he popped the blackberry into her mouth , then drew back giggling like a schoolboy.

“There, it wasn’t that bad,” he chuckled, his mirth beginning to get the better of him.

They continued the walk but Susie was feeling decidedly odd. Had she just been seduced by a blackberry?

Years later, Susie found herself confronted by a blackberry again, on top of a cheesecake. She couldn’t help but think of Reg, and had rather a problem looking the blackberry in the eye.

APOLOGIES

I am continually amazed, and happily so, at how many people still visit and read on my site, and take the time and effort to comment. It makes my day. I owe you all a great deal, because much of the time I am unable to do much. So this kind of keeps me going. No, in fact, it is vital to me. I don’t know where I would be without this site and your interactions with me.

But once again I want to apologise that I don’t get around to everyone’s sites as I would want to. I miss so many people out, and this is not how I would desire it to be. So again, I wish to apologise.

It is so hard going blind, and trying to deal with the effects of it, and finding my way round now is getting much much harder. Even if I do get to someone else’s site, I am often really struggling to read, and then commenting (which I WANT to do as there are some amazing Blogs out there) is becoming almost impossible for me some days. Everything turns into a blur, and then that is it!

As someone said to me the other day, it is hard when you go suddenly blind in later years, as there is no help out there for you, and it is kind of a shock. I am still trying to get used to it.

It is so frustrating, because the only way I can comment is to make the screen bigger (well, that is not exactly what I mean, but expand the picture or text) and then that means that only a few words fill my screen. Then I am scrolling around trying to find where to type my comment, and then after that scrolling around trying to find where to cluck to actually post the comment! Often, at that stage I do something wrong and lose it all! It is SO frustrating.

I also deal with things by reversing the colours on my screen, so that I have black on white for the keyboard. But with sites, everyone has different colours, and I have to keep reversing and then taking it back to its original colour set up, according to which I can see the best. And then I lose things in the process. So it actually often takes me a long time to read and comment.

All that I really want to say is I am sorry I can’t always keep up, and feel so frustrated by it.

I am still trying to deal with technology and various Apps, but not doing very well at it! Lol I am a bit thick headed.

I know that you will understand. I am so grateful that you are all such lovely and kind people. I must admit that I do fear the day coming when I can no longer run my site. In fact the thought terrifies me because it is all that I do. Even putting a CD into a Player is impossible for me, though I have tried to do so many times. Bothering hubby all the time just is not on. So, often, I just sit around, unable to do anything much. It can get very depressing. But as long as I have this site, I have something that I can do.

If my poems sometimes get a bit black and depressed, this is why. The adjustment from being sighted to being blind is just SO hard. So I get my down days. My angry days. My feeling hopeless days. My feeling useless days! But always, in the end, I come back again. And humour is a marvellous thing.

So, if you have read this boring thing so far, I thank you. And I thank you for your understanding.

I know that there are other blind people in here, and I lift my hat to you for you all do so well. One day, maybe, I will learn to do it as well as you.

So thankyou to all of you. And much love xx

FROZEN IN TIME

I saw it this morning, frozen in time,
A bead of water, hanging,
The delicate willow looked so fine,
Even the blackbirds were singing.

A bead of water, hanging
Exquisite in its splendour,
Even the blackbirds were singing,
Nature in its grandeur.

Exquisite in its splendour,
It hung audaciously there,
Nature in its grandeur,
Sparkling in the still air.

It hung audaciously there,
Giving its message clear,
Sparkling in the still air,
A bead that looked like a tear.

Giving its message clear,
In the icy cold of the morning,
A bead that looked like a tear,
In harmony with the dawning.

In the icy cold of the morning,
I glimpsed something that was beyond me,
In harmony with the dawning,
I saw into eternity.

I glimpsed something that was beyond me,
Now I know there is hope,
I saw into eternity,
I saw it this morning, frozen in time.

#FOWC. FORLORN. Wild Wind

FOWC with Fandango — Forlorn

THIS POEM WAS INSPIRED BY THE WIND WHICH IS AT PRESENT BLOWING STRONGLY OUTSIDE

FORLORN
The wild wind blew
Singing her own sad song
Calling for her Lover to come
Rising
Swelling
Until she became a torrent
Of rushing emotions
“Where are you Love”
Come now

Her song
Echoed through trees
Caressing the branches
Moaning desperately in grief
“Oh Love
Find me
Come and quell my rising passions
Do not leave me alone
Hear my sad song
Take me”

I SEE THE STARS

I see the stars in the vast night sky
And wonder what there is beyond
I know I can reach them if I try
Nothing for me now is too high
I cannot let life pass me by
I do not need a magic wand
I see the stars in the vast night sky
And wonder what there is beyond

#FOWC,PAIR,“MAM, where’s me clothes?”

FOWC with Fandango — Pair

“Mam, where’s me clothes?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“But MAM, I need them.”

He stood there in the altogether, not a stitch on.

“MAM I want to go out.”

“Oh do you now. Well I know what you’re going to get up to.”

“How do YOU know?” He asked, placing his hands strategically over his most
prized possession.

“Well like father like son. And I warned HIM as well. And NOW look at us. Not two ha’pennies to rub together.”

“Well you can’t blame me for THAT. Now let me have me CLOTHES.”

“NO.”

Origen stood there getting colder and colder, and his prize possession was shrinking more and more by the minute. Soon he started to shiver and shake violently.

“MAM, look what you’re DOING to me.”

“Well if you can’t stand THAT bit how do you think you’re going to stand being mauled and eaten by lions?”

“But MAM, I want to be a martyr.”

“Martyr my foot. You couldn’t even stand me getting that splinter out of your finger with a needle the other day.”

“Well that was different,” sulked Origen.

“I want to be a PROPER martyr. All the best people are doing it.”

“Oh and was your father one of the best? Rushing off to be a martyr, getting himself killed and leaving us destitute.”

“MAM, I mean what I say. Now GIVE ME MY CLOTHES.”

“Not likely. Now go and read a scroll somewhere.”

Origen, giving up shuffled off taking his ever shriveling prize possession with him.

“Like father like son,” he heard his mother muttering. They’re a right PAIR.”

(This is actually based on truth. Origen is one of the Church Fathers and his own father had been a martyr for the Christian faith. His son was desperate to do the same,and at the time, there was a huge rush to be a martyr. Everyone wanted to do it. But Origen’s father had left his wufe and son destutute. Origen did manage to get to be a martry, in a sense, later in life.)

HOME AGAIN

Back in the sacred place
I am home again
My spirit now at rest
I sit here very still

I am home again
Absent was I for so long
I sit here very still
Basking in the silence

Absent was I for so long
My restless heart did ache
Basking in the silence
I have found my peace

My restless heart did ache
Longing to be home
I have found my peace
Healed was my heart within

Longing to be home
My footsteps brought me here
Healed was my heart within
As I knelt here this day

My footsteps brought me home
Back to familiarity
As I knelt here this day
I felt my spirit still

Back to familiarity
Where all is safe and sure
I felt my spirit still
And inside I am calm

Where all is safe and sure
I know I need not fear
And inside I am calm
The light has shone again

I know I need not fear
For here You are with me
The light has shone again
And I can see Your face

Here, You are with me
Dispelling all the dark
And I can see Your face
Making all things well

Dispelling all the dark
Eternity has called
Back in the sacred place
I am home again

AT THE CLOSING OF THE DAY

I sat at the closing of the day
Watching the mist falling on the fields
Beyond the bridge was a brand new world
The night soon came and the rooks went home

Watching the mist falling on the fields
I held in my heart hope of better days
The night soon came and the rooks went home
And I knew that I too was going home

I held in my heart hope of better days
A new dawn breaking the coming of light
I know that I soon am going home
The rooks cawed long announcing their flight

A new dawn breaks with the coming of light
The mist has now gone and the fields are green
The rooks cawed long announcing their flight
But now they wake and dance in the sky

The mist has now gone and the fields are green
The sun sheds its warmth upon the earth
I sat at the closing of the day
The night soon came and the rooks went home

#Written for Daily Word Prompt from Sheryl : Marvellous : JOY WAS BORN

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/25/your-daily-word-prompt-marvelous-january-25-2019/

I held in my hands today my past,
And now it becomes the present,
Re-created before my eyes,
Living deep in my heart,
Always these things were in my memory,
But now the memory has changed.

Is it really me who has changed,
My present lives in my past,
It is so much more than a memory,
Transforming me in the present,
Things that live in my heart
Will always glow in my eyes

Blind now are my eyes,
How much my life has changed,
But love still lives in my heart,
The good that I knew in my past,
Comes to life in the present,
Love is much more than memory.

Sometimes I rely on memory,
A substitute for my eyes,
Darkness fills my present,
For now the sky has changed,
Beauty lived in the past,
But now it lives in my heart

One day your love warmed my heart,
I see you now in my memory,
There were good days in the past,
I saw myself in your eyes,
The colours in my life changed,
I see rainbows in the present

How MARVELOUS is the present,
There’s dancing in my heart,
The song has never changed,
It lies deep within my memory,
Redundant now are my eyes,
My joy was born in the past

OPEN SOUL

Wild place
You minister
To me, washing away
The soil Of vain accusations
Lashing
My face
Like the surgeon’s knife cutting out
The diseased parts that sting
From the harsh words
Spoken

The wind
Blows gently now
Soothing the raw places
Opening up the way for tears
Salty
Healing
I bathe in their pool, my wounds cleansed
Vulnerable I sit
My soul open
To grief

WOTD challenge by Dee Kelly: Agony and Ecstasy

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/25/combine/

ANOTHER PANTOUM. I AM GETTING ADDICTED NOW!

Agony is in the soul
Buried deep in ecstasy
How can one know which is which
For both look just the same

Buried deep in ecstasy
Agony has its day
Both look just the same
Exquisitely they play

Agony has its day
And ecstasy just the same
Exquisitely they play
Tantalise the soul

Ecstasy just the same
Becomes our deep desire
Tantalising the soul
Playing with our mind

Becoming our deep desire
We seek our soul’s relief
Playing with our mind
Until all sense is gone

We seek our soul’s relief
And one day then we find
That both these things COMBINE
Agony is in the soul

#FOWC. Determined. The Walk

FOWC with Fandango — Determined

The following poem is a Pantoum. I saw the wird chalkenge for the day, and immediatelt this experience came back to me. Sadly, I finally did lose the ability to walk, but this day remains in my mind.

Together they sat looking out at the sea,
Her sticks lay close beside her,
The sea was in, the waves kissed the beach,
Slowly she put out her hands.

Her sticks lay close beside her,
She dreamed that day of walking again,
Slowly she put out her hands,
Firmly she took her sticks.

She dreamed that day of walking again,
Could it really come true?
Firmly she took her sticks,
She opened the door of the car.

Could it really come true?
Her imagination was fired,
She opened the door of the car,
Gently she moved her legs.

Her imagination was fired,
One day she would climb Everest
Gently she moved her legs,
Placed her feet on the ground.

One day she would climb Everest,
Another, run a marathon,
Gently she moved her legs,
DETERMINED she stood up.

One day she’d run a marathon,
The seagulls shrieked on the railings,
Determined she stood up,
She put her right foot forward.

The seagulls shrieked on the railings,
She put her left foot forward,
She put her right foot forwards
Slowly she began to walk

She put her left forwards,
Now she was making progress,
She slowly began to walk,
Fixing her eyes on the ground.

Now she was making progress,
Her heart began to leap,
Fixing her eyes on the ground,
She counted each step she took.

Her heart began to leap,
Step by step she went,
Counting each one as she walked,
Gradually building speed.

Step by step she went,
Now she was really walking,
Gradually building speed,
Tears came to her eyes.

Now she was really walking,
Bikes and people passed by,
Tears came to her eyes
Everest called her again

Bikes and people passed by,
She turned back to the car,
Everest called her again
Her heart began to dance

She turned back to the car,
The sun shoe in the sky,
Her heart began to dance
Soon she was back at the car.

The sun shone in the sky
Birds sang overhead,
She sat down in her seat,
Together they sat looking out at the sea.

WINTER SKY

Sun dies fast in the winter sky
Fun filled days now shorter
Stun the silence of the night
Run with the wild wind’s laughter

Know your worth as they pass you by
Throw off doubts as the wind blows strong
Glow in the darkness let them see
Show your strength to the merry throng

WHEN THE CHERRY TREES BLOOMED

I would not normally post a poem like this one, but felt I must, on reading something recently. Here is the poem, that I wrote a couple years ago.

Last year
I saw beauty
Blossoming all around,
One year, when the blossom bloomed, sky
Was blue, scent filled the air,
A shock hit me,
Cancer

Inside
A dark room, while
Birds sang and pink adorned
The cherry trees,
I cried
Dying,
The fullness of life all around,
I, empty, except for
Tumours, many,
So large

How could
This happen now,
In the Spring, when the sun
Shone so brightly,
Night fell
For me,
Soon would begin my fight for life,
Though I, too weak to fight,
Wanted to die,
Go home.

I fought,
To save my life,
Used every ounce of strength,
Assailed by many a dark night,
Inside,
A spark
Still glowed, so tiny no one knew
It was there, but life grew,
Won the battle,
And now I’m blind!

LOVE IS NOTHING TO DO WITH FEAR

I watch them swooping, soaring, diving,
Dancing in the air in pure joy
And I hear their song from the trees
Their wings unclipped
Their voices not silenced
Free to sing as they will
Whatever their song
I sang to you a song
and you silenced me
Clipped my wings
No longer could I soar with the birds
But in the darkness of the prison you put me in
My song rises
In the night I sing as I will
Knowing
That love is nothing to do with fear

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

And what is on the ground?
Mud, dirt, stones,
Your face rubbed in the dirt,
The stones cutting your face,
Until blood runs,
You lie there helpless,
Hopeless,
How do you get up?
Your brain crazed,
You see your blood on the ground,
And suddnly it is not yours,
But that of Another,
Two thousand years ago,
And there, on the ground,
You find eternal life

HISTORY LIVED TODAY

Today I was there when history lived
Recreated lovingly in a day
Oh how easy it is to be deceived
By all the words that people want to say
Interpretations of such simple facts
That speak so clearly of what happened then
So many brave and fine courageous acts
That we would never dare to do again
I sat today where saints in times past sat
And felt a fire within my weary bones
In that one moment knew where I was at
Their souls cried out from in those sacred stones
Like theirs my journey now is filled with pain
But pressing on I know thenprize I’ll gain

#FOWC. Copious. Did you see a snake?

FOWC with Fandango — Copious

It starts small doesn’t it! You know,

“I’ll just have one of those.” But then it gets to be two, and three,and four, ad infinitum!

Sometimes I feel I am sinking. Under the weight of birds, orchids in pots, tropical fish. You name it, and hubby has collected it. I hardly dare say I like something nowadays, for fear it will then take over our lives!

I suppose it started with the tropical fish. Pretty things. Said to be very relaxing! Doctor’s waiting rooms had them in, sometimes, to relax the patients (in the GOOD old days – and those of you who live in the U.K. will know what I mean!). But they weren’t very relaxing to ME, in the end.

“When are you going to clean those bloody fish tanks out,” was a common cry in our house. How many did we have? Well, every free wall in the house was lined with fish tanks! It started with just one you see. But then it grew like topsy!

Eventually I managed to dissuade him from buying any more fish, and eventually he found new homes for them all with his Fish Club mates.

But then it was BIRDS! Where the fish tanks were, there were now cages. Upstairs and down. Can you imagine maybe 100 canaries waking you up every morning at the crack of dawn? Well yes, that was US. He tried to placate me by getting lovebirds! It didn’t work too well. And OH, THE FEATHERS!

Then it was ORCHIDS! Rare ones. In our garage! Hiding in corners in the house. On window sills. Suddenly appearing from nowhere. I wondered why our electricity bill was so high one winter. We didn’t have electric heating. We had gas! Then, one day, I was startled when I went into the garage. There they were. Lurking underneath polythene. Fan heaters all around them! ORCHIDS! Well, they just HAD to go! We needed a mortgage for the electric bill!

I ask myself why, all the time. Why does he have to have things in such COPIOUS amounts?

All I can say is that I am glad it was not snakes. Or mice. Or rats. Oh but WAIT – what’s THAT out there?

PUSHIMG ON

Pushing
On, walk alone
The desert path, battling
The demons lurking on the way
Rising
Above
All that would destroy you, rebuke
The sweet whispering voice,
That sings to you,
Beguiles

Be strong
In the knowledge
Of who you really are
Dispel the whisperings of ghosts
Creeping
Reaping
Darkness within your soul that ties
The noose around your neck
And know this day
Your strength

THE LARK

Looking forward to the Spring again. There are many larks in the countryside around us. This poem was inspired by these beautuful birds.

The lark
Wet with the dew
Rises in the morning
Reaching for the sky once again
Hopeful
Looking
To the sun that rises with her
Greeting her in her quest
By night she rests
Her wings

SILENCE

It’s hard not to be frightened
Her stomach lurched as she woke
“Perfect love casts out fear”
The words wrapped around her brain
Went down to her throat
And started to strangle her
Words that felt like arrows
Where was the love?
Any love
Not even perfect love
Alone again in the darkest night
She twisted and turned
Waiting for the morning
When once again
No one would be there
And her cries would go unheard
And the choking began
She sat up in bed
And looked into the darkness
But the darkness was deaf too
Unseeing
Unhearing
A wall
Is there anyone there?
Silence

ANGUISH

She’s old now
My mother
I look behind
The eyes that once blazed
And see anguush staring
From a heart that seened so cold
Holding within malignant
Desires that raged and crushed my young soul
But now stripped the dry tears
Fall to the ground in a deep silence
Heard only by hearts open to their cries

WASHED

Today the wind blew
Taking with it the hammering
That lived in my head
Leaving space for clarity
And with clarity
Came the Dance
And the lightness of spirit
That accompanies re-creation
And behold
Today I saw a new thing
And I too was made new
Washed in tears of joy

WALL

And so I met a wall
Yep a wall
Who built the wall?
Nobody will take responsibility for it
But the wall keeps people in their place
And isn’t that what was wanted?
It’s nobody’s wall you know
Funny how big it is
I hit it every day
It’s a wall built out of fear
A stubborn wall
Unyielding
Unscalable
Only one person can take this wall down
The person who built it

#Written for Sheryl’s Daily Word Prompt -Ideology

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/15/your-daily-word-prompt-ideology-january-15-2019/

Hidden in the dark waters
Thrashed and beaten
I cringe and struggle for air
Taken in by snakes and wolves
I floundered in the mire
Fell into their traps
Heard their sweet singing
And drowned in the cauldron
Of deceit
I listened
To their IDEOLOGY
All wrapped up in fine words
And now I am lost
Trying to breathe
Flailing around
To find fresher air
Oh let me breathe once more

#FOWC. AVID. BLUE ANORAK

FOWC with Fandango — Avid

Something wasn’t right. I knew it from the beginning. There she was, in bright blue anorak, leaning on her spade, a bright red slash of lipstick across her face. Incongruous. That’s what it was.

And then, when I was talking to HIM. “Sex always had to be SO respectable,” as he pulled on his dog collar, muttering something about feeling as if he was always on a leash.

“Does it mean they are any the less called?” he remonstrated, one time, as he considered the horrors of domestic violence, and vicars who beat their wives.

“We’ve decided that masturbation is okay,” he called out to the blue coated figure in the kitchen, as he tramped up the hall.

“Oh have you darling” she replied.

WHO had decided? I wondered.

And then he told me about his anger, WHITE anger. It came on twice a year. In the past he had gone and hacked at the long grass with a scythe.

It was the same monotonous lifestyle every day. Morning Prayer in the church, followed by a crunchy breakfast. I was there one day. At breakfast. And there was something odd about the way he took a spoon, dipped it into the honey pot, filled it with honey, and then dropped it slowly into his tea. Everything about this movement was exaggerated. He desired the sweetness of the honey. It showed on his face. In fact he craved it.

In the evenings I sat with her.m the blue coated figure. By now the red slash had worn off. Mostly she would be doing the ironing. She was an AVID ironer.

IN THE LAND OF GRAVES

I sat in the land of graves today
And there you were
As I unravelled my past
And let my hair flow free
I stood where heaven opened
Just a crack
Enough to let me through
Into another world
Where sorrow no longer
Winds itself around my soul
And you are there already
Soon I will follow
And together we will join hands
And dance with the Beautiful Lady
Our feet never touching the ground
For there is no ground
Except the Ground of our Being
And here we will know what freedom is
In the unconfined space
Where anything is
And nothing is
And everything can be
And as we dance
And sing our Hallelujahs
We are as one
Before the Throne of Grace

TICK TOCK WAITING

My heart waits as my body aches
In its pain and turmoil
In a tangle of mess
Broken
Bruised
Beaten
Rejected

Until there is no more room
And so it sinks
Into the maelstrom of time’s murky waters
A lifetime
Nearly ended now

But waiting

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

For eternal love to find me
And hold me forever

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

ETERNAL MOTHER

I looked at you today
I have seen you in many places
Heard your name
Even when I didn’t know you
So many spoke lovingly of you
But I did not understand
I still don’t
But there you are
Outside my front door
White and beautiful
Arms outstretched
Why are you there?
You are there because I invited you
And you just stay
Never moving
Just BE-ing
Being what you are
Innocent
Strong
Weeping
Smiling
And what is your name?
You just smile
And say
You knew me before you were born
And I knew you
I am
Your Eternal Mother

#FOWC. REBUKE. The Oboe

FOWC with Fandango — Rebuke

It was the oboe that did it. Well, that’s MY story anyway.

Damned reeds!

I’d always been musical, right from being very small. Taught myself the recorder at age five.

In my grandmother’s middle room at the farm was a piano. Oh how I LOVED that piano, and I tried to learn to play it by writing the names of the notes on each key, and then reading the music in an attempt to bang a decent tune out of it. I didn’t do too badly, but I yearned to have proper piano lessons and do it properly.

I always wanted to play a proper instrument, and be in an orchestra. My chance came when I was in Gramnar School and I was offered the chance to play an oboe. I was warned.

“It is one of the most difficult instruments to play, but I think you can do it.” This, from the music teacher.

Well, always one to take on a challenge, and gagging to play a “proper” instrument, I took it on. Bad decision!

It was the damned reeds that did it! They broke! Every half hour! And they were expensive! I have never known such fragile things in my life. You only had to look at them and they broke. I imagined them smiling at me as they did so. Rotten damned things. They really had it in for me.

The school nearly needed a mortgage to keep up with paying for all my new reeds. I was feeling distinctly murderous, and about to commit oboeicide.

One day, at the end of my tether, and in a very angry mood, I went into the school Hall, for my music lesson. The teacher was waiting for me. Obviously ready to commit pupilicide. He gave me the sternest REBUKE that I have ever had in my life. I was to have been his star asset. No other school in the vicinity had an oboist. I was to fulfill his dreams of having the best orchestra for miles around. I was to be the feather in his cap. But oh, those bloody reeds.

“What the HELL do you do with them?” he yelled.

“I just put ‘em in my bloody mouth and BLOW ‘em,”
I yelled back.

And that was the end of my musical career. And the end of the relationship with my music teacher, who I was actually madly in love with. I stalked across the floor of the Hall to the door, yanked it open, and banged it closed and as hard as I could.

“I’d have made a bloody good drummer,” I thought to myself!

#Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Word Prompt: Silhouette

https://sammiscribbles.wordpress.com/2019/01/12/weekend-writing-prompt-89-silhouette/

Last night
In SILHOUETTE
I saw bare trees dancing
Clothed only in their joy swaying
To the
Song of
The wild wind that blew where it would
Until it blew on me
And I too danced
Wildly
Naked in the
Joy of the night
Under the gentle moon
Come dance with me for eternity
Joined in harmony
With the Universe
Oh my friend Love consummate

GEESE FLEW OVERHEAD

To add to my other poem of this morning about geese. I LOVE the geese. They can teach us so much

Geese flew overhead one day,
Forming a ‘V’ in the sky,
Chattering loudly as they went,
Each knowing what the other meant.

Forming a ‘V’ in the sky,
The leader honking loudest,
Each knowing what the other meant,
Giving help to the weakest.

The leader honking loudest,
Cacophony of sound,
Giving help to the weakest,
Journeying towards their destination.

Cacophony of sound,
A clear message from the sky,
Journeying towards their destination,
To help our weaker brothers.

A clear message from the sky,
“How to reach our destination”,”
To help our weaker brothers,
Outpouring of God’s love.

“How to reach our destination”,
Nature reveals the secret,
Outpouring of God’s love,
Geese flew overhead one day.