CLOSING DOWN

Closing
Down stiffening
Exhausted with the fight
Your body unable to bear
The strain
Knowing
It is deteriorating
Emotional struggles
Not on your mind
It’s dark

Time gone
You feel so lost
Alone in space waiting
No one can be quite where you are
Normal
Advice
Is out of place, irrelevant
From diff’rent perspective
You’re in a space
Alone

DANCING

Dancing
In pain and dark
We moved diseased bodies
To the loud beat of the music
Holding
Onto
Wheelchairs
We the first to get on the floor
Laughing, arms thrown in air
Defying death
That night

Outside
The stars shining
Like our faces, once grim
On hearing the death knell tolling
We lived
That night
Thrusting our faces to the sky
Defying grim reaper
Who came to call
Cooooeeeee

She’s gone
To better fields
Where sorrow does not live
But only green pastures of joy
Dancing
Under
The sun and the moon and the stars
Laughing eternally
Soon I will go
To her

LOVE NOT FEAR

The path

That I walk on
Can be walked by no one
Except
Myself
In the shoes that only I have
I am my own
By choice
Too long
Prison bars held 
Me in what others said
I should be but
I broke
Those bars
Now at the end I will do it 
In the way that I choose
Adorned in love
Not fear

GOODBYE

Goodbye
Past world of light
Hello new world of dark
Where do I find the light in you?
Deep in
My heart
The light still shines, twinkling, winking
For still there is laughter
Still I can dance
Inside
Singing
I remember
All the joys I have known
Memories that gyrate and sway
Bitter
Yet sweet
I live in a world of contrasts
Today I laugh and cry
And dream my dreams
Aching

#WOTD Challenge- Incoherent

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/incoherent/

“Pitsu” she said, pointing to the stairs.

Something in her head was jangling. She knew what she should be saying but it just wouldn’t come out. Only baby words came.

She felt strange. Everything was surreal. And frightening. It was as if she could not quite manage it. Anything, that was. Her brain felt as if it wasn’t there. She looked at things and they looked different to how they should, and somehow she knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t quite organise that knowledge.

Only the other morning she had awoken to hear her hysband talking in the bedroom. She joined in with the conversation that he was having with the person standing in the corner of the room.

“Who are you talking to” he said.

“That person over there who you are talking to.”

“There’s nobody there,” replied her husband.

Confused, she laid back on the pillows. When was this cancer nightmare going to end? She knew she was being totally INCOHERENT

A WORD ABOUT MY BLOG

I set my Blog up as a way of getting my poetry “out there.” This happened as a result Of someone suggesting to me that it would be worth it. At the same time, I self published my books of poems, especially for the Lymphoma Association, which was the cancer that I had. That proved to be very successful.

It has been a wonderful experience here in WP for me. I have made many lovely friends, and, amazingly to me, my poetry is appreciated as well.

I have been honest in many of my poems about the raw feelings going blind as a result of cancer can produce. Also the raw feelings about going into a wheelchair on top of that, and becoming TOTALLY dependent upon someone else, even for basic needs. No longer do I get to choose anything. Everything is chosen or dictated by other people.

Many of my poems reflect my feelings about the above things, but also they reflect how the most wonderful gems can be found at the heart of the darkness.

My Blog is just as I have described it. A Poetry Blog. It was never intended as a Self Help Blog, or anything akin to that. It was ourely and simply a Poetry Blog.

However, I soon discovered that I was making some wonderful friends in here, which was both amazing and wonderful to me, for I am cut off from human relationships by my condition.

I am not seeking “help” (in the way that many think of that term).

I have had so much kindness in here, and it is what has kept me going through the most intense suffering of my life. I am SO grateful. Your love has pulked me out of many a hole.

There are still things I would like to say, and write about, concerning my life as it is now. Some positive, some negative. But whatever I write, will be true to me. Sometimes it may come out very raw, understandable, in my circumstances, I would hope.

I find my own way of working through things, and it can ONLY be my way, because no one has been in EXACTLY my shoes. I am grateful that I have the ability to do this.

I have discovered that often, there will be someone out there who feels exactly as I feel, albeit for different reasons. And that is great – that they find what I have written to be expressing their feelings as well.

In all, this has been an absolutely wonderful, and lifesaving experience for me.

I want to express my appreciation and gratitude to ALL my friends in here. You are the ones who have kept me going, just by your love. THANKYOU.

I have been, on occasions, writing my cancer story. Many have encouraged me to keep doing that. I do it as and when I feel it is the right time to do it, and it may not reflect the chronological order in which things happened. I shall continue to post it as and when.

I do hope that this post says “THANKyOU” to the extent that I want it to. You have all truly been wonderful.

I hope you will feel able to keep reading my posts (even the darker, more painful ones lol) and that we can all continue to journey together. You are all GREAT companions in an otherwise unbearable desert.

Thankyou a million times. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lorraine

DARKNESS FLOWS

I don’t know whether I have posted this before, but it feels apt for me today. It is referring to the darkness of blindness but also to the emotional darkness that comes in its wake. Going blind means fe-adjusting your life and allkinds of emotions follow. The feeling of absolute abandonment is one, as you become cut off from relationships. So here is the poem

The darkness flows into our mortal lives,
Unasked for, unexpected, sure it comes,
For the most part every one of us strives
To dispel that which now before us looms,
But as it beckons we must enter in,
Embracing it, not fighting its advent,
Fighting it will never help us to win
The fruits that grow within what has been sent,
Within the darkness gems are to be found,
And soon we will discover our true self,
To the things that hold us we will not be bound,
In letting go we find a greater wealth,
Only the darkness can deliver us
And make us free without incurring loss

WAITING FOR ME

The path had been made straight,
Smooth under the early sun,
Just in time for my arrival
Though no one knew I was coming,
It seemed it was just for me,
Time had been waiting

Long months had I been waiting,
My path had not been straight
Darkness then attended me
I never saw the sun
I didn’t see its coming,
In shock at its arrival

This was a new arrival
Light for me had been waiting
This day it saw me coming
My mind was now straight
The warmth of the early sun
Was protecting me

Inside She greeted me,
Seeing me on my arrival
Hidden from the sun
In the darkness waiting
Her truth had always been straight
Eternity was coming

Even the birds were coming
Singing their songs to me
Is Truth always this straight
So joyful its arrival?
Eternity will not be waiting
And neither will the sun

Gone for now is the sun
That shone upon my coming
Joy for me is waiting
Silence falls on me
Soon will be my arrival
Now the way is straight

I walk straight along the path waiting for my coming,
Guided by the sun shining light on me,
Now is my arrival, eternity was waiting

MY SECRET GARDEN

I have a secret garden!

In it, there are beautiful things that I have grown. Many of them over a lifetime, with much love and nurturing. Some of them have been very sensitive plants that had to be treated with care.

I cherished my beautiful garden, and shared it with others. I allowed people into it.

But just recently someone came into it and attacked it. It began with trying to steal something. But then when caught, this thief went into full attack mode.

Some of the plants in the garden are damaged. But not irretrievably so. They will survive and bloom again, with care. My secret garden has not been destroyed, thank God.

REAL LOVE

Quiet
Surrounds the one
Who truly does Love’s will,
Love is not a clanging cymbal,
Empty,
Shouting,
Announcing your prowess, seeking
For glorification,
I hear it all,
And cringe

Love is
Gentle, seeks not
To boast, nor dwells in pride,
Real love does not attack the weak,
Nor masks
The truth,
But lives in dying to the Self,
Steps back from the limelight,
Silently waits,
Watching

TWO SIDES

In thinking about conflicts, that can dog all our lives, this is what came up:

In everything
Two sides
One noisy
One silent
One clamouring
Demanding attention
The other not seeking justification
Allowing the blows to fall
But not retaliating
For what does someone gain
In losing oneself
So let the storm roar
It is just noise

THE MAN IN FINE CLOTHES

There once
Was a man dressed
In fine clothes
Who cried out
“Attack attack”
Everyone ran to him
“Who attacked you?”
“That woman over there”
Everyone looked
They saw
A pathetic crying woman
Hunched over
In pain
“How could she have attacked you?”
The man in fine clothes
Shuffled
Knowing the truth
That he attacked her first
And left her bleeding in the street
In unbearable pain
“Go to Confession”
They said to her
“For upsetting the man in fine clothes”
She looked into their eyes
And they saw
That she was blind

I HOLD A SILENCE

I hold a silence deep within my heart
I cannot speak but know so many things
From dignity I never will depart
Though many times I wish that I had wings
I feel the arrows deep within my soul
In secret aimed at vulnerable parts
I know that I can never now be whole
For shattered pieces lie around and hearts
Will never understand the cruelty
Imposed in secret all against my will
I never now will know security
I have to climb the biggest highest hill
Alone I face the battle to survive
Wondering if ever I will thrive

CRYING

Crying
In the dark night
Unashamedly hurt
Attacks unprecipitated
Springing
Upon
My innocent soul shocked
Ferocity
Flattens

Silence
Gentle protects
Keeping my dignity
While all hell is let loose round me
Inside
The pain
Kills my very being until
I reach bursting
Tell truth

Please help
My pain Jesus
You are the only One
I can turn to for You knew this
I throw
Myself
Onto You please help me to cope
Give strength in hour of need
I am weak now
Crying

Everything with a Narcissist is a huge distortion or lie used to manipulate a person OR a situation to the Narcissist’s advantage.

After Narcissistic Abuse

EVERYTHIG a Narcissist says is a huge distortion of the truth to manage a person down, take control, create a chaotic situation, or to basically get something by using deception and lies. We must internalize this especially when they are attacking us personally – it is all lies and distortions and just projection! Most importantly, they are creating this chaos behind our back from the very first day they meet us!.

From my Book: Greg Zaffuto – Author – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.

A Narcissist will use ANYTHING to convince you that you are seriously damaged. Alternatively, a Narcissist will even use dime store psychology on you, or strong dogmatic religious beliefs, or a false consensus from friends, family, co-workers, etc. to justify their lies and inexcusable behaviors concerning you. For example, saying things like: “I pray for your healing daily” or…

View original post 686 more words

Hangover

I found this poem today written by my lovely friend Punam. I found it so powerful, and so insightful, so I am Reblogging it. Please if you want to “Like” it go to her site to “like”. She deserves it. Thankyou Lunam for this striking poem ❤️

paeansunpluggedblog

The half empty bottle of vitriol

that you left on my shelf

when you left

I take a sip from it everyday

the days, as a result, become palatable

but the nights need

something stronger

so I drink a cocktail of vitriol and torment

sometimes I add a dash of despair

and always garnish it with pity

but sadly it is still not potent enough

to knock me out

the hangover leaves me

crying out your name in anguish.

View original post

WILL I RISE?

I WROTE THIS A LITTLE WHILE AGO BUT RETURNED TO IT

Yesterday we went back
Sat once again where herons fished
And magpies, caught by the wind
Fell off wooden posts
Where once the geese arrived from foreign climes
With loud chattering announcing their arrival
And at the water’s edge mallards, dancing their own ungainly dance
And as we sat
Transported back in time
To days before cancer and blindness
Herons now gone
Symbols of resurrection
I wondered
Will I rise again
Or forever be chained to this body
And deep within me
I knew as magpies called
And swallows dived
That yes indeed
To the call of nature
I would rise again

MUSE OF A LOST SOUL

I’m a lost soul shaking in the dark
You pursue me
Judge me
Make me fit your box
Your coldness freezes me
Until, like an icicle, I break
Today I am broken
Shivering
Today I search for a warm blanket
But do not find one
Hostility follows me as I search
Never will I find safety
Or the green pastures
And share in your banquet
For this is only for the loved ones
The cherished ones
The ones who do not make mistakes
The perfect ones
Blot free
But I need blotting paper
To blot out the running ink marks
Cotton wool to absorb the blood
I am not like you
And you would never come looking for me
While I search for my blanket
Once again
I feel the hammer’s blow
Once again my blood runs
Cold
No one likes blood

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

Little things mean a lot to me,
Bring happiness I never knew before,
Joy that tells me I am free.

I cannot walk and I cannot see,
Yet life oozes out of every pore,
Little things mean a lot to me.

I live my life now by Love’s decree,
To eternal joy It has opened the door,
Joy that tells me I am free.

Birdsong wafts from every tree,
Waves kiss every shore,
Little things mean a lot to me.

Everything has its own degree
Of potential for life within its store,
Joy that tells me I am free.

Dancing on the waves of the sea,
How could I hope to find much more?
Little things mean a lot to me,
Joy that tells me I am free.

CELESTIAL LIGHT

Open the door to celestial light,
That heaviness of heart cannot destroy,
Dwell in that which dispels the darkness of the night.

Find the place where heaven’s beams shine so bright,
Where earth’s dark arrows can’t destroy
Open the door to celestial light.

The door may be heavy, you must fight,
Every single method now employ,
Dwell in that which destroys the darkness of the night.

Let the powers of darkness take their flight,
Know that you can have eternal joy,
Open the door to celestial light.

Don’t let your dark night cloud your sight,
Or be seduced by evil’s clever ploy,
Dwell in that which destroys the darkness of the night.

Heaven’s glory seeks to lift you from your plight,
Let not dark powers with your spirit toy,
Open the door to celestial light,
Dwell in that which destroys the darkness of the night.

THE SONG WITHIN MY HEART

When walking in the lane I hear your voice
As night time falls like stones upon the earth
In childhood days there never was a choice
Just as you did not choose to give me birth
I suffered for the life you gave me here
And guilt became my close companion borne
With silent tears that walked alongside fear
And many years from life’s adventure shorn
Yet still I held a song within my heart
I felt Love’s Breath caress my soul with joy
And I from Love can never now depart
Nor can the peace it brings rough times deploy
I walked with you a’gazing at the stars
Their light dissolved my childhood’s prison bars

THE SONG REMAINS

When I was a little girl, I learned to sing. Singing just seemed to be part of me. I sang when I was happy. I sang when I was sad. And I sang when I was frightened. At nights, when I was often frightened, in my bed, I would sing. Singing took the fear away. It seemed to ward off anything that could possibly hurt me.

My happiest days were spent at my grandparents’ farm, and always, I would wake up singing. Singing with the birds. I would lie in bed singing at the top of my voice.

Little did I know then that one day I would be unable to physically sing. But that is the case today. And as you know not only can I not sing but I cannot see or walk. There was a time, during the period when I had cancer, when not only could I not sing, but I could not speak. It was impossible for me to string words together. Yet here I am today, and I can both talk, and write. The ability to string words together has come back.

I had a date on December 24th. 2013. A date with a friend in America, to sing the well known Carol, “Silent Night” to her over the telephone. I had not yet finished my chemotherapy, but it was my dearest wish to be able to sing on that holiest of nights. And I did. Croakily, but I did.

My voice has never come back properly, but in my heart a song remains. A song that I sing whatever happens to me. It is a song that I would like to leave behind me, should I pass away. “I love you. Be strong. Do not fear, for I am with you. I have overcome the world.”

THE WAY

The way that calls me calls so silently
My heart is all that hears but it is sure
The way is right for all eternity
I hear its tones upon the distant shore
My time on earth is almost past and gone
And I prepare to sing in pastures new
I leave behind me in this world a song
Of love despite the pain that i’ve been through
Time is the great impostor that we seek
Forgetting that it too will one day pass
And now as grows my aching body weak
I know I will be going home at last
The wind is growing stronger as I pray
And soon I’ll say goodbye to this world’s day

SOFT RAYS

Soft rays fall gently as I remember
Days in Your Presence
When my heart was full
And birdsong filled the air
The warmth of summer’s breeze
Danced on my skin
Until the whole of my body danced too
Hearing the cries of Your love
In the calling of the birds
“Come my sweet one come,
Follow Me wither I go,
Across the sky
Onto the sea
Soaring above the mountains
Follow, follow,
Let Me hear your sweet voice sing
As we become One with the Universe
I love you, I love you,”
And I believed
And followed
Emptied myself of all but You
Together we danced the Dance of Love
Ate at a Banquet fit for Kings and Queens
Bathed in the gently flowing water
Drank from the water that gushed from the rock
But now the soft rays turn to darkness
The wind blows cold
No longer do I hear Your voice
Calling, calling,
I am alone,
Abandoned
Sightless
No longer can my feet dance
No longer do we twist and twirl together
In the Dance of Life
For now I live in darkness
Unable even to tie my own belt
In a place where I did not want to go
And in this place
I cry out Your Name
“Come to me, Come to me”
But there is no answer
“Where are You? Where are You?” I cry
The wind blows the sound of my voice back at me
I look up
See a Cross in the sky
And in that moment
Know that You are with me

YELLOW FRONDS

I HAVE POSTED THIS BEFORE BUT OUR FORSYTHIA IS NEARLY IN FLOWER AGAIN ACCORDING TO MY HUSBAND WHO IS MY EYES. Had to share it again!

Outside,
It greeted me,
Vast fronds of yellow, deep,
Luxurious, bury me there,
Within
Its warmth
And I will stay there for ever,
Its glow draws me in, rest
Comes to my heart,
I sigh

TAKE MY HAND

Take my hand and hear the birdsong,
Smell with me the forest pine,
Feel with me the dew of the morning.

Hear the beat of the bird’s wings flying,
Raise your face up to the moonshine,
Take my hand and hear the birdsong.

Hear the fountain burbling, gurgling,
Taste the taste of wine so fine,
Feel with me the dew of the morning.

Feel the trunk of the old tree leaning,
Touch its bark from ancient time,
Take my hand and hear the birdsong.

Though without sight the world is teeming,
Unable to walk pure joy is mine
Take my hand and hear the birdsong,
Feel with me the dew of the morning.

MY CANCER STORY :CHRISTMAS 2012

I WAS GOING TO SET UP A SECOND BLOG ESPECIALLY FOR MY CANCER STORY ETC, BUT WE COULD NOT MANAGE TO DO IT AND I WANTED TO WRITE THIS NOWm SO HERE GOES:-

It’s strange how you rationalise everything and tend not to think anything is serious. You see other people becoming seriously ill, but something inside you tells you that that is not going to be you. You could never get anything that could be fatal. In my case, I HAD had tuberculosis, but, strangely, I had never treated it seriously even though I had a huge hole in my right lung, and was in hospital on complete bedrest for three months. It just did not register how serious this really was.

So, for me, when I insisted that we go to the coast for a day out, as we had often done in the past, despite feeling so ill that I did not know what to do with myself, I put it down to hay fever. My determination to go to the sand dunes, and to the lakes near to the sand dunes, to watch the birds, was paramount. Though I knew I did not feel well, I wanted to be “normal” again. There truly could not be that much wrong with me. But at certain points during the day, I did not know how I was going to get through the day. On the way home in the car, on what was only a thirty mile journey, I had such a strange feeling in my head and ears and throat. I had the most terrible retching cough that I was trying to suppress, and at times I felt as if I could hardly breathe. I told myself not to panic. It was just a bad attack of hay fever. I had had bad attacks of hay fever before, and this was all it was. I had got through it before and I could get through it again. So in this way I quelled the panic that had started to rise in me. It worked. I became calmer.

Little did I know at that time that I had tumours in my neck, pressing on my windpipe, and tumours in my chest, making breathing even more difficult. Also there were tumours in my abdomen making me feel sick. But, I got home O.K. though feeling rather miserable, but glad that I had seen the birds.

It was some time before I was to receive my cancer diagnosis. My doctor failed to recognise my extreme loss of weight, my night sweats and fevers, my breathing problems, or anything else for that matter. Yet he had had plenty of warnings from other doctors and Specialists that something serious was going on with me. The breathing nurse went to see him, upon looking at the results of my breathing tests, and told him that my results indicated either COPD or lung cancer. However, he made light of it, and said it was just stress. That same nurse was extremely troubled about my weight loss – five stones in just a few weeks. He simply said that he was not surprised as I was not eating.

Another doctor in the Practice went to him one day, upon looking at my blood test results, saying that he should repeat the blood tests , as they indicated something wrong. He refused, saying that I was scratching, so it was just a minor infection due to that. Indeed, I had been scratching for ten months. It had begun in the April of 2012, and was eventually diagnosed, wrongly, in the December of that year, as scabies. It was just before Christmas. I was feeling iller than I had ever felt in my life, and food was a definite No No.

Some of the memories of that time, I can hardly bear to repeat, and so I am going to leave them out. But I had by now become afraid of food. I just could not stomach it. I struggled to eat just a quarter of a bread roll. Yet my husband, naturally, was distraught and was trying to force me to eat. This simply made matters worse, and I became utterly phobic about meal times.

And so it was that we got to Christmas Eve of 2012, and I was in a terrible state, I had just been to see my doctor at the surgery a week before Christmas and sat and howled for ten minutes flat! Everything had come to a head. I knew I was very ill. But he refused to listen.

On Christmas Eve I was distraught. I did not know how I was going to get through Christmas. I got in my car, and just DROVE. I had no idea at all where I was going. I was so weak I could hardly walk, and I had no food inside me and hadn’t had for days. I came to a road that had a church on it, and the lights were shining through the windows. I wanted to go towards the light. I parked my car and walked, haltingly, into the church, desperately seeking help. I had no idea at all what was going on inside the church, but when I got inside, a Christingle Service was just about to begin. I was told by the lady who greeted me on the door , to sit through the Service and then the vicar would come and talk to me. I hardly knew what I was doing. I was so sick. In the end, the vicar said that she was too busy to talk to me, and so, distraught, I went home. My husband tried to get some food down me, but he could not.

After Christmas I returned to my doctor, demanding to see a Specialist. He refused me. It was to be another four months before I was finally diagnosed, by which time I was at death’s door.

I will continue this story at another time.

LOVE’S TRUTH

Let not the love that holds you fade away
Invest your life in all its benefits
Know now that only love can ever stay
In hearts that recognise the devil’s pits
Sweet voices tell you love is just a game
That casts you down and sees you on the ground
That many lives have only known love’s pain
And hearkened to its lulling honeyed sound
But I say love is true that honour finds
And sacrifices all for greater things
It’s love that fills the purest honest minds
And brings peace to the heart that ever sings
Let love grow strong and be your wisdom true
Guiding your life and everything you do

WOOO HOOO Maya the ospreysp is back!

At 10.39 this morning, Maya returned to Manton Bay, Rutland Water. Bbthere were twi Canada Geese lounging around on the nest, but, experienced in these matrers, she soon saw them off! She is the first osprey to return to the U.K. for this year’s breeding season. She awaits her mate returning any day now. Excuting times. Good luck Maya!

THE LAST ONE IN

I remember

Is it good to remember?

The mind remembers what it needs to remember

All the rest is dross

And so I remember……..:

The trolleys

The beds

The needles

But most of all I remember the jokes

Dacarbazine

The last drug to go in

On chemo day

“Grown men cry at this one” she said

That was AFTER I’d felt the pain

“HELP” I screeched

“I can’t bear it”

Half an hour it would take to go in

Half an hour of knives inside my arm

“We’ll piggy back it” she said

Piggy back?

“That’s a kid’s game” I thought

“First it was daisy chains

Now it is piggy backs”

And so they did, piggy back it

Onto the back of some saline

“Ugh, that’s better”?I said

It still hurt – but not so bad

And so it continued

But then they stopped piggy backing it

What were they?

Sadists?

And so………

I told stories, jokes,

Laughed at the storm

And then the pump refused to work

It took an hour

And hour of knives

I talked faster

It seemed to work

“Keep talking” she said

As I started to flag

“I want to hear the end of that story”

And so she got it

Right between the eyes

The story

And it hadn’t finished

So I counted

FAST

And we laughed

And laughed

And laughed

At the storm

Then it was over

For another session

Until the next time

#FOWC – Power

FOWC with Fandango — Power

Is a leaf a flower
Or a swimming pool the sea?
Am I you or are you me?
Whose shoes do you wear?
Would mine fit you or yours fit me?
“Walk a mile in my shoes”
Or so the saying goes
The truth invades
You can’t
But if you could
How do you know you could do better than me?
Maybe you could
Who knows?
My shoes are worn
From much striving
Much walking
Many hard miles
On paths unknown
Littered with hard rocks
In the sizzling sun
In the freezing cold
Without a warm blanket
Thirsty
Hungry
And here
In this place
You who are “strong”
Try to take POWER over me
Raising yourself up
To satisfy your own ego
Your need
I resist
In the heat of the day
I resist
Who is weak?
Who is strong?
I leave it to you to decide

TREASURES OF THE DARKNESS

WHAT WOULD THE LIGHT BE, WITHOUT THE DARKNESS? THERE ARE TREASURES TO BE FOUND WITHIN THE DARKNESS.

The darkness flows into our mortal lives,
Unasked for, unexpected, sure it comes,
For the most part every one of us strives
To dispel that which now before us looms,
But as it beckons we must enter in,
Embracing it, not fighting its advent,
Fighting it will never help us to win
The fruits that grow within what has been sent,
Within the darkness gems are to be found,
And soon we will discover our true self,
To the things that hold us we will not be bound,
In letting go we find a greater wealth,
Only the darkness can deliver us
And make us free without incurring loss

Exhaustion

This describes exactly how many of us feel, so often. It is a great poem from my lovely friend Deborah

Emerging From The Dark Night

Some days are just exhausting

Some days we feel like giving up the fight

Because life has weighed us down

Under piles of stones

Sometimes its impossible to summon up the heart

Or the strength to keep reaching

For those small improvements that would just

Make the day a little brighter

When you are weary

And your heart is heavy

Let yourself fall down

Surrender

Just remember

There will come another day

When your energy returns

And you will find once again

The strength

The will

And the courage

To go on

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IS THIS LEGIT?

I want to moan
You know
Groan groan
Just a bit
I don’t feel fit
I feel like shit
But I write about flowers
I write about stars
And comic stuff.
And it is all true
But I want to write about shit
Just a bit
Is that Lit?
Or even Legit?
I feel crap
Without a map
No one told me it would be like this

FIXING THINGS

Well, the FIXIT man came yesterday aka Tony our gardener! He fixes ANYTHING, well, almost!

He fixed that arm in hubby’s chair. Dunno how long it will last because hubby is rather overweight and tends to push himself up on the arm. Additionally the DOG loves to bang her bum repeatedly, as if she is dancing, on the side of the chair. She is BIG! Not only that, but she gets leaning on the remote control to the chair and hubby goes up and down in the air accordingly. He gets a bit dizzy cos she does it quite quickly. Now WHY can’t hubby use the remote to make the chair rise so he can get out of it, instead of pushing himself up on the arm? Funny thing is that when the dog gets on the remote control, hubby tries to push her off it, but she thinks it is a gamee, and pushes even harder back! He cannot detach her from it. Then she laughs her head off at him constantly rising and falling!

Mr, FIXIT tried to fix the curtain pole back up again at the front doir, but it woukdn’t stay put. So he is bringing another tool soon!

There is nothing can be done about the bed and hubby falling out of it! Except putting a chest of drawers in the way lol.

Well, Tony fixed most things yesterday, except the dog. But now, with the wind, everything, including,plant pots, is blowing up into the air outside.

The dog is fascinated by the blowing bamboo, and will not take her eyes off the kitchen window.

This is a queer household lol