WHERE’S IT ALL GONE?

Black
Fear
Walls close in on me
No way out
Shivering
Nausea
Screams rising
“Where’s it all gone?
Where’s it all gone?”
Deep guttural sobs
That can do no good
Escape from my mouth
But there Is no escape for me
Blocked
Held
Trapped
It’s gone
Nothing can get it back
Nothing assuage
It’s gone
My life
Another bit stripped away
Today
Fear chokes me

Chokes

Chokes

 

Chokes

 

Me

#FOWC. WAGON

 

FOWC with Fandango — Wagon

They used to be a lot bigfer than they are now.  Like everything else, they have shrunk.  WAGON wheels!

Do you remember those huge circles of biscuit covered in chocolate, with something else in the middle – was it marshmallow?  So big you could hardly get through them.  I thought they’d stopped making them because even when I had one in my hand I didn’t realise it was one!

It’s like everything isn’t it!  SHRUNK!  Except for me, that is!  I’ve just grown larger – probably from eating too many wagon wheels that I did not know WERE wagon wheels.

Does anyone else remember them?

Why I’m boycotting the Cancer Survivor title

Remission Life

noun: survivor; ‘a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died’

Yup, that’s me. So why am I boycotting the ‘cancer survivor’ title?

It comes down to two problems.

1 – It insinuates that other people weren’t strong enough to survive, as if it was a choice or a sign of weakness. We all know this isn’t true, but I feel like the continued use of this title can unintentionally offend bereaved individuals.

2 – It suggests the battle is over. You are a cancer survivor now, so it’s time to live everyday like it’s your last and become an even better, brighter version of yourself. Stress.

I want to expand on the latter problem. This affects me everyday. It affects my decisions, my self-esteem, and my mood. And it has for over a decade. When my treatment ended, there was…

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