It is absolutely IRREFUTABLE – I was born. Things might have gone a bit off after that, but I was born, just like anybody else. The fact that I can levitate or be in two places at once is by the by, or that my father was a circus clown. It just means that my life was rather different. The fact that people don’t believe me is a bit of a problem though. Even when I show them a photograph of myself levitating they don’t believe be. Mind you, what can you expect from people who go in Nucton library? No imagination. Closed minds. But I tell you – it is true. I was dressed all in blue and gold robes at the time, it was a hot day, and there was rather a lot of incense around. Not to mention lots of wine. And there was a grand party afterwards. I didn’t really expect it to happen myself. But it did. But you see, even with the photograph no one believed me. The same with being able to be in two places at once. It’s got a proper name you know – bilocation.
I shouldn’t have told anybody about it really. I mean, if you are some kind of Saint it’s ok. It’s allowed. But not if you are plain ordinary Joe Bloggs. And that’s why I’m in here. They think I’m mad. But you just watch me next time we’re out in the exercise yard. Just a few quiet words with the One up there, and I’ll be up and away – floating right over that wall – up up and away. And you won’t see me for dust.