LOSS AND SURVIVAL

Loss is such a hard thing to face, be it loss of any kind.  For me, it has always been the birds that have kept me going.  They speak so much to me.

As some of you know, I have experienced a lot of bad physical pain lately, and that problem continues.  But in the mornings after a night of pain, I have heard, at around 5 a.m, what sounds like a song thrush.  My husband has seen one in our willow tree lately, so maybe it is that one singing.  When I hear it, come the dawn, I am able to concentrate on that, through my pain.

This last week my pain has not been only physical, but has been deep deep emotional pain, from my family.  Things that are very difficult to tell here, but the pain was gut wrenching.  So gut wrenching that I almost felt I could not survive.  The sheer sense of loss was horrendous, as I lost the whole of my family in one fell swoop.  Not physical death, but as good as.

How does one bear such terrible loss?  I don’t know.  But I still hear the song thrush, and the  doves and pigeons.  I truly believe that without those things I would not have survived.