Mr. Dibby thought he owned the road. The problem was that he lived next door to Babs and Gerry, who also thought that they owned the road. Both liked gardening. Babs liked her roses, whilst Mr. Dibby liked his vegetables. And, according to Babs, ladie’s knickers. Especially the ones that her grown up daughters wore. According to Babs he had a spy hole in his shed from which he perused the knickers on the washing line.
No one said much, however, and they all lived in peace and harmony for some years. Until the swede episode that was.
Mr. Dibby grew some enormous swedes. One day, in the garden, Babs took him up on his knicker watching activities.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing in there,” she said.
“What do you mean?” said Mr. Dibby. “I’ve got my model train set in there. Keeps it out of the way of my wife.”
“Yeah, but we all know about that spy hole that you’ve got. And we all know about your penchant for ladie’s knickers. Especially those of my daughters.”
“Who do you think you are?” said Mr. Dibby. “Accusing me of that.”
“Well all I’ve got to say is this – people who live in glass houses es shouldn’t throw stones. And people who play at toy trains in sheds shouldn’t peep at ladie’s knickers, otherwise they might get something in their eye.”
With that, Mr. Dibby lost his cool, and threw the biggest swede you ever did see at Babs. It hit her right in the face, and knocked her glasses onto the ground.
“Yeah, and people who wear glasses shouldn’t cast aspersions on their neighbour, especially when they’ve got a big swede in their hands!”
And for ever after, neither spoke to the other.