I found this this morning. It says it all.
“She’s 98. And the isolation and loneliness came over her in a river of tears at my visit. Not able to see her son or daughter for 6 weeks. She wants to die.Because at 98 the waiting is too much. I offered to FaceTime her son. She cried more. She wanted a real hug. I in my PPE said enough. I too bent over into her arms she wrapped so tight around me. I broke the rule. I hugged her till she could breathe. We both had a healing. I’d do it again. Love matters most. The older folks in long term care haven’t been touched or hugged. It’s causing failure to thrive. Hugs are a necessary part of living. “ – shared from a nurse
I speak to several people of that age. I find that a lot of them want out, but because of all their aches and pains rather than because of lockdown. One woman cannot sleep at night because of the pains in her legs, and lockdown didn’t change that. In fact, I find people of that age generally quite philosophical of covid, presumably because they’ve lived through similar. From what I’ve seen, it is the “younger oldies” who have trouble. Sad to say, people of your age. I’m not sure if I just insulted you, do you mind being a younger oldie? 🙂
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Lol I don’t mind anything at all 😀. I am finding this myself though. I am 72. But I was pretty well isolated before this lockdown. But because of past experiences I fear being trapped or forced. I also miss hugs. I think I am faring better than most as am so ysed to being alone. But I do struggle sometimes too. I reel for that lady. Hugs mean everything. Althoughsome ppl don’t like them.
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Yes that’s a big thing, I think. Lockdown didn’t change much for me or a lot of my clients. The oldere ones a;ready had grocery supply chains because they couldn’t get out of the house anyway. I have been struck by their general frailty – just needing to see the doctor quite frequently, and not wanting/being able to at the moment. Not virus, just wear and tear. I realise it is useful to be here with someone, just really for human contact and to talk to, but I worry that she is working, seeing patients, and it will only take one… Tbh, that’s a bigger risk than going to Tesco’s.
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Yes I see what you mean. It is all so very sad though, I feel. Yes, we need the doctor too, but we are not pushing it. We don’t want to take rusks with this virus and neither do our doctors. I wonder when all this will end!
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It’s not surprising that they feel that as they do.
I am affected by this too, even if I like my own company at times, there are times I chat with people more than I used to. But 2 meter distance is hard, so people are going to find me quiet and withdrawn possibly. Depending where I am.
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I understand you Liz. I was crying and extremely depressed all day yesterday because of lack of human contact. I am trapped in a terrible marriage, so no hugs there. I felt like giving up on everything yesterday. I was awake all last night through it. It seems it will never end. Social distancing through into next year. I personally can’t contend with that. So yes, yesterday, I wanted to end it all. I don’t know what is going to happen to us all. I guess we will get through somehow, but there will be casualties along the way. So sad. Xx
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It is sad and so sorry to hear you feel the same.
I feel same in not being able to stand this situation through to next year. But some how I still get through. I am still aiming for my own goal of that house. So that’s my drive, as I know being in my own garden will be easier. Doesn’t mean it’s still not hard for me till I get there with that. Especially when knowing it could be 2 years before achieving, rather than next year. Xx
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Yes, I think it is the length of time that can be daunting Liz. I do hope you achieve your dream. You deserve it ❤️
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Yes, it’s the length of time that’s daunting with this whole Coronavirus thing and same with my aim for the house of my own. As soon as I look that far ahead it just gets me. I am trying to stay in the moment. But it can get hard. Xx
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They will “see” you by phone or bideo, if necessary. At least, wife’s place will. She’s starting to see people face-to-face again too, if necessary. Only half as many appoiontments because she has to disinfect everywhere after every patient. And only half as many people working, too.
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I am not that bothered really. To be honest ai’d rather just get on with it. Don’t want to take the risk. My doctor has rung me twuce, so we’ll see how it goes.
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It is very hard to stay in the moment Liz. I try to do that too.
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It is hard. Xx
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The guy who came up with the idea of the Hug Curtain has struck gold. I hope such a simple thing can be implemented in care homes for this very reason.
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Of all the senses, the sense of touch is the last to go. For that reason everyone needs at least 3 – 30 to 60 second hugs a day! Hope we can all get our quota!
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Thanks for sharing. I am so glad that nurse gave the woman a hug. We need more people to say, “Enough is enough.”
This is so hard. I wish I could hug you, Lorraine.
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Aww thankyou so much. I will consider myself hugged. Thankyou. 😊
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Heartbreaking! I’m glad that nurse broke the rules! So, so glad!
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