Month: November 2020

CLOSER THAN YOUR OWN BREATH

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Closer
Than your own breath
Is the comfort you seek
In Love do we have our being
Though pain
Darkens
Our spirits, we reach out and touch
That which is deep within
And find that Love
Waiting

Dark nights
Of weeping leave
Us weak, our hearts open,
In our weakness we find our true strength
In love
Inside
That will never let us go, holds
Us safely in strong arms
Absorbing tears
That fall

Seeking,
You will find rest,
Deep peace beyond measure
It is not far away, but here,
Your heart
Knows it,
Go inside your heart, dear child, lay
Your head down on Love’s breast,
Cry your tears and be soothed,
Trust in this Love,
So deep

UPDATE ON HUBBY AND US

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized12 Comments

I posted a while ago that my husband had started slurring his speech. It seems that he had a slight stroke, but all he has to do is rest. At times it is better, and his speech will probably come back in time.

It certainly is an interesting life, with him not being able to talk and him not being able to see, and both of us in wheelchairs. But we go on.

All the lights in the house went out on Saturday night and we had to get an emergency electrician out. That was interesting too. Now hubby knows a bit of what it is like to be blind and he found it frightening.

Life goes on, as it always has to. Scary at times. Painful at times, but always with a glimmer of light.

THE DANCE GOES ON FOR EVER

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Circling round at the end of the path
Taking in all that life has been
Gathering good and bad alike
Embracing all that has been
Hearing only the voice of my God
Silencing others within
Though my eyes are dim and my sight has gone
I do not need eyes to see
My heart has eyes and my soul has ears
My God speaks clearly to me
Those clanging voices I will ignore
For only one voice is true
Its name is Love and Love above all
A lifetime has taught me to know it
So oft have doubts and fears filled my path
But now I am at the end
No more am I walking but circling round
Just waiting for the call
A life I carry within my soul
My offering to my God
And so now I wait in the silence of Love
As the Dance goes on for ever

COLOURS NOW HAVE DISAPPERED

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized18 Comments

Colours now have disappeared
I live in a world of grey
Life for me is now awfully weird
There’s nothing more to say

I live in a world of grey
Looking for some light
There’s nothing more to say
About my awful plight

Looking for some light
My eyes begin to hurt
About my awful plight
My tears fall in the dirt

My eyes begin to hurt
I rub them with my hands
My tears fall in the dirt
Blindness killed my plans

I rub them with my hands
But nothing makes me see
Blindness killed my plans
This is how it will be

Nothing makes me see
Except my heart within
This is how it will be
Colours now have disappeared

WOMAN

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized8 Comments

A woman cries,
Hunched low,
In rhythmic sway,
Cradles the child
Who danced
In celebration fields
Of gold.

Soft days
In gentle sand
Lapped body’s shore,
While sunny stories
Nestled
In darkening crook
Of summer’s arm.
A woman moans
Her last goodbye
To childhood’s startled innocence
Then slowly turns,
In ever widening circling dance
To greet
New sunlight’s
Golden dawn

FOREST

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized3 Comments

Yesterday we drove through the forest again. It felt like I was in fairyland even though I could not see it. It reminded me ofbthis poem that I wrote

Forest
Your darkness holds
All that I am, have known
Hiding in you I am safe, held
Spellbound,
Magic
Plays joyfully, dancing, twirling,
Until I am dizzy,
Lost in your world
Entranced

IF

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized7 Comments

If I were you and you were me,
What different colours would we see?
For I am blind and you can’t hear,
What different things would we hold dear?
The grass is green, what does that mean?
It could be blue, things only seem
To paint a picture bold and true
That means the same to me and you.

If you were me and I were you,
How would we hear the colour blue?
It’s not just words that shed the light
On all life’s questions big and small,
There’s none that mean the same to all,
I wonder if you’ll now agree
That different shades we all will see,
That white is black, and black is white,
But all has meaning in God’s sight.

BURN ON

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized3 Comments

Burn on
My flame my light
In deepest dark burn on
Hidden in the secret place
Where no one treads or sees
Burn on though all is lost
I search for you
I yearn for you
Though swallowed up
By darkest holes
Burn on
Take me back to your shining
Oh take me back
Singe my heart
My dying heart
And bring me back to life
Burn now pure flame
Burn on
Through loss and grief
And body’s pain
And guide me through the dark

HEAVEN

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized3 Comments

The earth was full of teeming,
Purple waterfalls,
Cascading down
Grey granite rock,
In lush fields of velvet green
Yellow heads danced
Gloriously,
White poppies, paper thin,
Swayed delicately
In summer’s breeze.
Never had life seemed so full,
The barren past vanished.
Through moistened eyes I gazed,
And saw
Heaven.

TAKE EAT

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized1 Comment

A REPOST

Today
They were all gone
Berries plump with new life
Already their life had journeyed
Plucked from
Green tree
As the summer sun died in skies
Now grey, winter waiting
Offstage, while birds
Feast, store…….

Plumpness
To see them through
Dark days and raging storms
We too have a banquet prepared
Take, eat,
Savour
The delights there for the taking
Nourish
Your soul
And live through the darkest of nights
Sustained by Love offered
Freely, just take
And live

WHERE AM I NOW?

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized2 Comments

The world for a newly blind person can be very lonely and confusing. This poem attempts to convey that.

Blinded
I lose my place
I hear you cheer me on
But I have no waymarks to guide
You see
Signposts
I live in a grey world alone
Flounder without a map
Where am I now
I cry

IN WHOSE FACE?

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized4 Comments

When at last I see Your face
What will my heart tell me
For such a thing I cannot imagine
An earthly being
Accustomed only to the things of the earth
How can I contemplate
That which is holy
Beyond imagining
My mind cannot take it in
And yet
Already
I have seen You
Not high and lifted up
Not out of reach
But in the faces of Your suffering ones
The poor, the weak, the ones in rags
The prostitutes, the drunkards,
The ones who have fallen on hard times
The prisoners
The ones condemned by society
Those living in filth
These are the ones in whom we see Your face
And in them I see myself also

BOOK OF POEMS ON BLINDNESSs AND GOING BLIND

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized21 Comments

I spent yesterday putting together a book of poems on blindness and going blind. It is entitled “Through My Eyes.” At the moment it is just in document form, but my husband is going to make proper books. At this time I do not know how to make it available as normally I sell my books at Craft Fairs but that is not possible now, with the pandemic. I thought of doing it in Kindle version on Amazon, but, never having done it before, not sure how to do it. But anyway, I feel really thrilled to have done it. We keep going on, in some way, despite the pandemic. Hope you are all okay and doing well in these trying times.

SURRENDERING

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized5 Comments

Surrendering to the darkness I sit,
Letting its arms wrap around me, rock me,
For by no other is my dark life lit,
Only in the dark can I truly see,
Waves of peace wash over my aching soul,
Soothing, calming my ever raging storm,
For I have tried so long to reach a goal
Not of my own making, how I was torn,
I knew that in the dark there was more light,
For in the dark I see with different eyes,
The eyes that walk by faith and not by sight,
And in the darkness now my spirits rise,
The light deceives false comfort offers me,
Embracing dark I can be truly free.

TERROR AND HOPE

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized6 Comments

I wrote this this morning after having a night of continuous nightmares and waking in terror to a husband who still cannot speak properly. My sight suddenly went even worse yesterday, but we knew that was coming. We live in terrifying times. Our hospital is full of Covid cases, and the only treatment for my husband is rest. We get through, but sometimes sheer terror overtakes me.

When the world around you shakes
Leaving no familiar landscape
And your body goes its own way
And you are lost in space
When nightmares flood your sleeping hours
And terror reigns in your heart
When a pandemic is raging outside
And you have to close your doors
When no one is there to help you through the gloom
You look for light
And the coming of the dawn
And hope and hope and hope
That despite everything
You will be okay

I WILL RISE

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Yesterday we went back
Sat once again where herons fished
And magpies, caught by the wind
Fell off wooden posts
Where once the geese arrived from foreign climes
With loud chattering announcing their arrival
And at the water’s edge mallards, dancing their own ungainly dance
And as we sat
Transported back in time
To days before cancer and blindness
Herons now gone
Symbols of resurrection
I wondered
Will I rise again
Or forever be chained to this body
And deep within me
I knew as magpies called
And swallows dived
That yes indeed
To the call of nature
I would rise again

TESTED

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized5 Comments

Never ending
The path that we tread
Beset with perils,
Darkest nights
We lose our bearings,
Stretch out our hands,
Feel our way,
Terror strikes us,
In fear we fall,
But there on the ground we find
Bright gems,
Shining,
Again we rise,
Like gold,
Tested,
Tried,
Proved,
In the fires of life

ASH

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized7 Comments

I looked round today and
All I saw was ash,
The ash of my life, spent,
The flame gone out, dead dreams on the ground in rubble.

The scene was bleak, my eyes
Beheld no beauty,
All was ugly, spent now,
I stood there stripped, knowing I could not pick up ash.

Dreams disintegrated,
Hope gone forever,
Nothing to re-ignite,
Barrenness was my empty companion today.

But suddenly I heard
A voice, saying “Sing,”
What song could I sing now,
Here in this strangest of strange lands, alien now?

The voice insisted, “Sing”
I opened my mouth,
But no sound would come out,
“Tell me how to sing,”
“Caged birds can sing, but you don’t have a cage, just sing.”

I looked around again,
I couldn’t see ash,
I saw the makings of
A new world, building bricks,
Beauty from ashes, I opened my mouth, and sang.

BEEN TRYING OUT

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized4 Comments

I have just been trying out keeping the format of my poems in block editor and the only ones I have that I could use were ones that you may have read before. Thamkfully, I seem to have found out how to do it without having to keep re-typing stuff in. Hope it goes on working!

HOPE LIVED AGAIN

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Winter
Was harsh that year,
Ice covered all the ponds,
No birds could feed beneath the ice,
Hungry,
They died.
We thought that all was lost that year,
There wasn’t any hope………
A kingfisher
Appeared.

This bird
Survived despite
There being no fish to eat,
We wondered how it clung to life,
And sang.
And then
We saw it eating bread, it learnt
A new way of eating,
Hope lived again
That day

#FOWC Exuberant

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized1 Comment
FOWC with Fandango — Exuberant

He had always been rather on the EXUBERANT side. It was partly why Susie loved him. A keen cyclist, she would watch his rather fabulous bottom go up and down at a record speed on his saddle, and then disappear into the distance. Until the day he disappeared into her neighbour’s garden!

He had, in his usual happy and excited manner, been keen to help out with Susie’s parents’ blocked gutters. He assured everyone that he was expert at such things. And so he duly arrived one fine evening.

Susie was delighted to be able to see him again. He began to scramble efficiently up the drainpipe. Until………..suddenly the rather flimsy plastic drainpipe began to detach itself slowly from the house wall, taking Cliff gracefully with it. You could almost have put music to it. Susie watched in awe as that delicious bottom filled her vision. But oh dear, what was going to happen to Cliff? It all seemed to happen in slow motion. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the neighbours had not been watching, as well as Susie’s ratber astonished parents.

Everyone watched nervously as Cliff kind of danced gracefully through the air, right over the neighbour’s fence, and landed in their vegetable patch. With all eyes on him, he got up slowly, still holding onto the drainpipe, with a confident smile. “Don’t worry Mr. Teall,” he said to Susie’s Dad. “I’ll soon fix you up with a new one.”

GEESE AT SUNSET

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized5 Comments

I wrote this poem in October 2016. For my own reasons I wish to pist it again. I hope you enjoy it. Some of you may have read it before 😊

Geese flew over one night
Out of the sunset
Glorious in their flight
Silhouetted, adept,
Concentrating on one quest, going home to rest.

Many times I’d seen them,
Heard them chattering,
A message came clear then,
God in their flying,
The message was “I love you, just keep on going”.

I too am going home,
We all are one day,
Love guides us as we roam,
Rest and work and play,
But inside we need a clear intent, on our way.

We keep the goal in sight,
Though the sky be red,
In our soul’s dark night,
With the blood we have bled,
Throughout the journey we can know,with Love we’re fed.

STRUGGLING TO READ

On By blindzanygirlIn Uncategorized7 Comments

I am struggling to read more and more. It seems that my site is getting even worse if that were possible. Although I use reverse colours on my iPad I can now no longer see my emails. It is impossible for me to read who has sent one and the title of the email. It is also getting almost impossible for me to read within WordPress and I am feeling quite despondent at the moment as I long to read everyone else’s blogs but find myself unable to. I can manage to write a poem of my own or a piece of prose of my own in a document and then copy and paste it to my blog. Although admittedly block editor does not help in that escapade. Sadly that is about all I can manage to do but I do hope that you will still keep coming to my blog so that we can have interaction with each other. It is not that I do not wish to visit your blogs as I very much do you wish to but it seems impossible at the moment to visit many peoples blogs at a time. This makes me extremely sad. Also if I do not reply to your comments immediately it is because replying to just one of them takes all the strength out of me and then I have to wait for a little while before I can respond to more. I am hoping to do better in that department but we will see what happens Thank you for your patience and for your understanding and for bearing with me and thank you to those who are still continued to read me. You have no idea how encouraging that is and how much it comforts me. Sending love to everybody xx