LEFT ALONE

When you are a child you never imagine that you will end up in a state of absolute aloneness, left to wither and die alone without family or friends. You cannot imagine this state of disconnection from the world. Even an appeal to family members that remain bringing no response except a statement that no family exists now and that you can die alone.

I was always taught that even when all others and all else fails, God is there. We sing in one of our hymns, “when other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless O abide with me.” For myself I am not aware of this being the truth. Life feels very dark right now. Left alone, I contacted what used to be our church until we could go no more. I appealed for help because we were so alone. The priest whom I spoke to responded that they were too busy to help. I had simply requested a phone call occasionally or maybe even a visit sometimes. I used to play my flute every single Sunday to accompany the singing. We used to attend regularly. I was always willing to help and be there for other people. Now, we are alone and left to get on with it.

I am feeling very shaky and crumbly right now as my bodily pain increases and life becomes even more difficult. Life is slipping away from me.