UNTIL I FOUND THE LIGHT

Started in the dark
A life that was to be lived in the dark
A dark childhood
Formed by dark forces
The day she held me over the river
The raging foaming waters beneath me
A mere toddler
Singing in the dark
I remember
Singing away the dark forces
Protecting myself
From whatever was there
And then………

Death all around me
Darkened houses
A silent child
Tearing wallpaper off the walls
A cry of pain
And then at the time of blood
An assault
Dirty she said
You dirty little bugger
I’ll get you clean
Pushing my head into the water of the washing machine
Humiliation
Degradation
And then, later………..

She killed my babies
In the darkness of her world

Later again
Much, much later
I saw her dance
Hands lifted up to heaven
Mocking
Scorning
Taunting
Come on devil
I worship you
And that was what she had always done
My world was always dark
Until I found the light