SOCS SATURDAY

With thanks to Linda for today’s prompt

It is a chapter of my life that I prefer to forget. It happened many years ago now. My husband had had to take work in London, and that was the last place on earth that I had wanted to live. We had often passed through London in the car on our way back home from seeing my husband’s relatives who lived down south. I was always and still am, a countryperson and I love to be next to nature. As we drove through London it was just streets and streets and streets of houses. Mostly terraced houses, and there was no greenery anywhere to be seen. I used to shudder as we drove through this.

Hoever, my husband lost his job as the plant where he worked closed down. This necessitated a move to London as he found work working as a Safety Officer for Haringey council. We had no idea where we would live, as houses in London were way beyond ur means. Yet we had to move. We put our house up for sale in Lincolnshire and had then to find a place to live. In the end we found a house that we could afford in a place called Waltham Abbey which is actually in Essex and my husband drove in to work from there every day. Because we didn’t have much money with which to buy a house, the one we ended up with, though large, was rat infested. The first thing that we had to do was get Rentokil in to get rid of the rats that had jumped on all our boxes on the first night that we spent in the house. The rats had actually been in the living room. Arrrrrgggghhhhhh. Fortunately they did go. I hated the place from the very beginning. The whole house needed decorating. It was shabby and dark. The rooms were large with very high ceilings. It was a terraced house and looking at it from the outside was deceptive. It looked small but inside it was huge. I set to and decorated it all myself. By the time I had finished, it looked lovely. However, I still hated the place. Everything was so different here from what I had been used to. Even the fish and chips didn’t taste the same.

At that time I had a motor bike. One day I decided that I would take a trip to Walthamstow market. I came to a huge roundabout and was on the inside lane. I went round the roundabout, wanting to take a left turn to get to Walthamstow, but there was no way in which I could get off the roundabout for all the traffice on the outside lane. I must have gone round that roundabout six times. Eventually there was a space to get off it, but the signpost said “Chingford.” I had no desire to go to Chingford, but I just said,

“Oh blow it, I’ll go to Chingfored.” At least it got me off the rounadabout. There wasn’t much at Chingford to see and so I went home. It was an experience but I realised that driving a motor bike round this place was going to be hard. In the end, I had nowhere to park the motor bike except in the front garden which was very small. One night some thieves took it and it was found by the police but it was a write off. Gone was my precious motor bike that I had loved when living back north. It had taken me many places and now it was gone.

One funny thing that happened though, was that the dog, Sherry, a rough collie, was used to going with me into the town and at the bottom of our road there was a people crossing and we would stand waiting for the light to change indicating that people could cross the raod and all the traffic would be stopped. One day, Sherry managed to get out of the back garden and she wasn’t stupid because she went down the the bottom of the road, and stood with all the people wiating their turn to get across the raod, and when they moved, she too walked across the road. She ended up in the country park where I often took her and she had known exactly what she was doing. She had been prone to jumping over a fence which was quite high at the previous houe in a small Lincolnshire village, and on one famous occasion she went to the post office and then the bank. Fortunately someone picked her up and we found her again. We had thought that the fence was high enough for her not to be able to get over it, but she had been determined and had managed it.

In time, my husband did get another job back north and we were able to move again. But not before he had had to take some council officers down the drains in London and he came face to face with rats. Also there had been a murderer who murdered people and then disposed of their body parts and they were down the drains. He never told me about the day he came face to face with that until after we had moved back north. He said he hadn’t wanted to upset me.

We never had to move back to London again for which I was thankful.

SHOES

Shoes
Walking
Taking life
To where they will
Strong soles holding on
Along rugged pathways
Onto the highest mountains
Alongside streams in greenest fields
Never giving up keeping going
Soon will be the time to rest satisfied

RDP FRIDAY Books I’ve been given

Thankyou Martha for thie prompt

My parents never gave me many books, although I did have one or two like Milly Molly Mandy, which I loved. Amongst the books I’ve been given, however is an autograph book. My father gave it to me for my eight birthday. I had no idea what it was until it was explained to me that frinds and family, and sometimes even people whom I didn’t know very well could be invited to write something in my autograph book. Naturally I asked all my school friends to put something into it. I ended up with quite an array of different quotes and things, like “Whoever sitteth on this will rise up quick.” On the corner of the page my fridne had put in a pin which is still there to this day, almost seventy years later. As we moved around a lot when I was a child, I have never been able to piece my life together and to know where I was at any particualr stage in my life. I had many different schools, but this autograph book helped me a lot in piecing my life together a bit more as my friends all put their names and addresses with their quote or good wishes.

One thing that I did discover from reading the autograph book when I recently discovered it lurking in a drawer was that my grandparents on my father’s side thought much more of me than I had ever thought they did. I didn’t really know them as well as my maternal grandparents, but they had written a most beautiful message to me calling me “Darling Lorraine.” It was such a nice thing to find. Of course, my grandparents on both sides are dead now, as are my parents. My father had written

“By hook or byb crook I’ll be the first in this book.”

My mother had put her entry on the very last page of the book and it said,

“If to thine own self thou art true, then it follows that thou canst not be false to any man.”

I treasure that book now, even though I can’t actually see it. I can have things read out to me from it but it would be wonderful if I could actually see it.

FOWC Venture

With thanks to Fandango

It was a long time before I dared to venture into the forest again. The last time that I had gone it had been littered with bodies from the “event.” No one really knew what the “event” had been. After it all had been complete desolation. People had fled. They had gone to wherever they thought they had shelter. They survived there for a while, but then they were driven out as water supplies diminished and food was almost impossible to find. Many had fled to the forest, thinking that they might find mushrooms there or some wild life that they could kill and eat. Maybe they could eat the leaves of some of the trees. They would have tried anything.

It had been a while since all this had happened, and, somehow or other I had manged to survie. As I thought back I could hardly remember. The “event” had made me lost my memory to some extent. I entered the forest after walking for a few days. It was hardly discernible as a forest now. Everything had been desecrated and it was no longer littered with bodies but with human bones. I shuddered. What was going to become of me? I didn’t want to live like this. I felt as if I was the only one still alive on the earth, but I knew that there must be others too.

Suddenly an old man with a long beard emerged from a kind of cave with a wild look in hiw eyes.

“What do ye want?” he inquired.

“I…..I don’t know,” I said. “I was just hoping to find some of the others who are still alive.”

The old man had stared at me.

“Well I’m still here,” he said. “Which is far better than them lot.” This, he said, pointing to the bones.

“Come her and I’ll show my secret.”

He pulled me into the cave with him. Soon it was night time.§

IN THIS PLACE

This place I have been so many times before
And pushed on the heavy oaken door
Inside the darkness fills my soul with light
Eternity held within to Souls delight

A halo shines into the gloom of night
And here my blind eyes glory in the sight
Of things unseen by human eyes before
In this place I have been

The flame of love within my heart ignites
And rises with my song into the heights
How could my aching spirit ask for more
One day I’ll reach with You that golden shore
I see now with faiths eye beyond my plight
In this place I have been

SIMPLY SIX MINUTES

It was so good to be by the lake again. It had been a while since we had been together. Dad had not been well and Harry loved his grandad. Harry had always loved the lake in the park and the ducks. He loved to feed them. He thought he was doing some good in the world by feeding the ducks. He once said we ought to have a pond in our garden and lots of ducks in it. It wasn’t a big enough garden though but we have got a small pond in it. There are some fish in it as well. I think Harry is going to be an outdoor sort. He loves the fresh air, and nature. Queer for a kid, I often think. At least for a kid of his age. He’s not into playing with meccano sets of train sets or anything like that. He’s a sensitive kid and he really felt it when his grandad was ill. I don’t know what he’ll do when grandad is no more. Not that he’ll die any time soon but he is getting on and this latestillness has really taken it out of him. I reckon he should come to live with us. I could look after him properly then. He’s not been the same since Mum died. They were a real couple they were. Joined at the hip almost. Anyway I’m glad really that Harry is as he is. I hope he grows up as nice a soul ashe is now. It’ll soon be time for tea so we’ll have to go soon.

DAILY WRITING PROMPT

When you are young life tends to be full of promise and you don’t think that anything really bad is ever going to happen to you. You hear about bad things happening to other people, but of course it is never going to be you. Thus cancer and going blind is never on your radar. These are things that I would never have ever imagined happening to me.

In 2013 I got cancer. In 2026 I have had cancer, gone into remission, and am now blind. How have these events impacted on me and how have I changed as a result of them?

I think I have a whole different attitude towards life now than I did prior to getting cancer. It was a very steep learning curve for me. It was not known at the time of diagnosis whether I would live or die. As the Consultant said,

“I’ts in the hands of the gods.” Undergoing chemotherapy was, in the words of the staff nurse,

“A leap of faith.”

I was in fact expected to die as my tumours were large and widespread, and in dangerous places, with one of the tumours about to go into my aorta and cut off the blood supply to my heart. I learned later that I was approximately three weeks from death.

Going though chemotherapy was not easy for me, since I had always had a deep fear of hospitals and medical procedures. However, in some way that I still do not understand today, I managed it and got through. It was gruelling and I had to learn to simply accept and get on with it. I found that I was much braver than I ever would have thought I could be. When I was told by a nurse how brave I was, I oculd hardly beleive it. It gave me a feeling of pride that I had actually managed to overcome my fears and do this.

When I eventually went into remission, I had changed as a person completely. I had faced possible death, and realised how short life actually is. I valued life much more, and in some ways was actually glad that I had had cancer and faced it. It showed me a lot about myself and it was not bad but good. I ended up with a totally different image of myself than I had ever had before. It made me want to live life to the full and to do evrything that I possibly could. In the event I never got over the cancer and became over time, much weaker and had to work to accept this new state in life. I could not do things for myself and I determined to do as much as I possibly could nevertheless.

It wasn’t until I finally went blind that I faced the biggest challenge that I have ever had to face. It was worse than going through the cancer itself. As I was already unable to walk, and in a wheelchair, going blind seemed like the very end to me. How would I mange to live now? Eventually also, I became bedbound, which is where I am at now. I have gone through every emotion under the sun and have had to attempt to deal with all of this in a positive way. Sometimes this doesn’t work but sometimes it does. I changed inwardly, and in some ways could see the positive side of going blind. I could see things as a blind person that I would never have seen as a sighted person. I became a much deeper person inwardly and spiritually. I wrote more and more and this became my lifeline.

These life changing events have made me the person that I am today, and I think I am a better person for them. I have to say that in some ways I am grateful for all that has happened to me.

FOWC Scenery

With thanks to Fandango

This word brings back a very happy memory for me. My Dad used to write and produce his own shows. He was quite famous for them in our town but his fame never went any further than that. However, his shows were great, and many of the townspeiple used to go to them. They were usually on for three nights, and often people like the mayor would attend.

I was fortunate enough to be in his shows in various capacities. It was a wonderful experience. I remember one time being a cackling gnome and I had to perfect my cackle. I remember how to do it to this day. On other occasions I sang solos and sometimes would sing in harmony with my Dad.

The atmosphere backstage was electric. I will always remember the rush to change the scenery when the curtain went down on one part of the show and the audience was waiting for the next part to begin. Sometimes the scenery would be painted boards with mountains and magnificent scenery on them. At other times men would rush around bringing loads of bails of straw onto the stage, which we would then all sit on and various songs would be sung, creating an amazing atmosphere.

My Dad has been dead for a long time now, but those memories are precious, coming as I do, from a largely dysfunctional family.

3TC

Thanks Di For these words

“Let me introduce you to Peanuts,” said the scoutmaster to his new asistant scoutmaster. Peanuts stood there looking as official as he could with his bunch of keys dangling from his belt. Ron held out his hand and Peanuts looked a little embarrassed and then took it.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” said Bill. The scoutmaster.

“Shall we go into the scout hut and make a coffee?” Suggested Ron. Peanuts agreed readily. Despite the authoratative looking bunch of keys on his person, Peanuts was really rather inept. Ron realised that Peanuts was using the bunch of keys to give an impression of importance. Bill had told Ron some time previously that Peanuts was in foster care, and that he had spent his whole life being fostered. Ron felt sorry for the poor kid and wanted to give him some affirmation.

“There’s the ketlle over there,” said Ron, pointing to the top of some rather worn looking floor cupboards that acted as a kind of work top.

“Like to go and put it on?”

Peanuts moved towards the kettle. Soon it was on and it was not long before it ws boiling. Peanuts, making himself look important, made the coffee and stood by the cupboards to drink it. Suddenly he knocked the mug over and the hot coffee went all over his hand. Ron rushed over to him, and looked immediately at his hand, but fortunately although the hand was rather red, it didn’t look to be too bad an injury.

“That was lucky,” he said to Peanuts. “You must be very important with all those keys you’ve got there.”

“Oh, they’re nothing,” admitted Peanuts. “None of them fit anywhere. They just make me feel a bit better.”

“Oh, well let’s hope that we can make you feel better without the keys. Maybe you could come to my house and help me with something.”

“I’d like that,” replied Peanuts. And that was the beginning of a very fruitful friendship between Ron and Peanuts.

FOWC Substantial

With thanks to Fandango

Jack had paid quite a substantial amount of money for his new car. He was really proud of it, despite its strange colour. In fact it was a rather odd greenish colour that his girlfriend said looked a bit like diarrhoea. For thier first trip out. They went to the supermarket which wasn’t really very exciting. Janice had expected at least a trip to the seaside. As if this wasn’t bad enough he expected her to pay for their purchases. Having taken the purchases home with them, they sat down to a meal. Janice was acting a little strange. Jack wondered what on earth was wrong with her. She denied that anything was wrong, but little did he know that she had a plan. It was only in the morning that he discovered his new car in the garage with streaks of orange paint all over it. Fuming, he went into the house to find a note on the table.

“Don’t look for me. I’m out of here.”

SHARE MY WORLD

1. Are you a dog or a cat person or are you unable to have a pet for some reason?

I am a dog person and always have been. I am not sure why but my mother hated cats but I think she got that from my grandmother as they got many wild cats at the farm. They always had a dog, so I grew up with one and when I got married we got a dog and at one time had four dogs. We always had rough collies and we now have Hope, but she is now ten years old and once she has gone we won’t be able to have another dog as we are too lod now. It will be a very sad day when that happens.

2. Did you have a pet as a child?

Yes I had a rabbit called Timmy. My parents moved around a lot and when they moved I wasn’t able to take Timmy with me and a friend had him. My mother promised me we would go back to see him but we never did. I’m still waiting.

3. Have you ever ridden a horse?

Yes, I rode a horse when I was ten years old. There was a stables near to where I lived and all my friends went down there on a Saturday morning. There was a beautiful little horse whom everybody loved. However, he started bolting after he had been ridden. He bolted once he was getting near to home. He galloped and threw people off him. He did it to me and dragged my head along the ground and I took my feet out of the stirrups and allowed myself to fall off. I was okay but my friend did the same the next weekend and was killed. It didn’t stop me going on a horse later in life however and it was a big one this time. I remember that I took to it like a duck to water so my experience didn’t stop me.

4. What is your favourite animal in either zoo or circus??

I didn’t go to the circus much and on the one occasion that I did go, I didn’t like it. I think I did like the elephants though. They fascinated me.

Written for Di’s Ahare My World

NEWS ABOUT THE EXPLODING WHEELCHAIR

Well, I posted the other day about my husband’s power chair that kind of exploded. Well, it didn’t quite do that but it felt like it. It had all its lights flashing and it wouldn’t go.

Today finally, the engineer came, and what had happened was quite simple. There is something on it that locks it down. My husband had accidentally locked but still, he doesn’t know how. The manual doesn’t say anything in it about it doing that. There was no warning about not touching anything that would lock it. The engineer told my husband what locks it so now he knows, but my husband is angry because there was no mention of it in the instruction booklet.

We are hoping that he doesn’t do it accidentally again. For now, it is working !!!

RDP MONDAY Splendiferous

Thanks Heather for this word today.

They sat there on the chest beside my bed. A massive basket of flowers in every coulour under the sun. I was going blind, and was almost there, but I wanted to see flowers in all their splendiferous colours for the last time. That was indeed the last time that I ever saw floweres and I miss them terribly. I can only touch and feel them now which isn’t quite the same. I can imagine them, which again isn’t quite the same. However I will always remember those flowers that stood on my chest.

MARCH ON VALIANT SOULS

To wake to the growing light
In the shadow of yesterday’s pain
Breathing fresher air
With hope for a clear day
Is a joy unknown to those
Whose path is bright
And as the new day comes to birth
So does my soul awake
Knowing well the treasures
Of the darkened path
And the potential for the redemption
Of each piercing pain
Though this path is hard
It cannot destroy the valiant soul
And one day we will wake
To an endless day
Where pain is no more
And tears do not ceaselessly flow
Where pure peace is our reward
O march on valiant souls
Your day will come

FOWC ENGULF

With thanks to Fandango

She shuddered as the darkness began to engulf her. Soon she would be consumed by it. It’s walls held her in. Imprisoned. Nothing in her world but darkness. It would never be light again now. This was for ever. She heard sounds outside. Was it really not night out there? No, she heard the sound of a wood pigeon calling. It used to get on her nerves. The constant calling echoing through her world. At least she could hear. Did she really want to? Maybe not. It only reminded her of a world she no longer inhabited. She was alone now. Completely alone. When would it end? She sighed. Tears began to course down her cheeks. Not that anyone would hear or even care. She laid down in her bed. Maybe she could sleep. For ever.

3TC

Thanks Di, for these words

Melanie looked at him, fury on his face and in his eyes. She’d always known that at any moment he could flip, but it had never happened like this before. Fear had coursed through her veins as she had watched him put his hand through a plate glass window. She expected there to be blood. But there wasn’t any. Oh she’d seen them fight before. Many times. But he’d never fought with a plate glass window before.

So many times she’d wanted to run. One day she would find one of her parents, or maybe even both of them, dead on the floor. If only there was somewhere else she could go. But she was trapped. One time he’d clashed knives and she and her mother had huddled in a corner. Perhaps this was it. Perhaps both their hours had come. But no, he was just posturing. If you could call it that. Melanie was sure he meant it. Why did he got like this? She didn’t know.

It was years later now. Melanie looked back on these memories and shuddered. Had all that really happened? They were dead now. Her Mum and Dad. The nightmares haunted her. She would wake in the morning dripping with sweat. Would she ever be free?