I used
To be like you
Standing tall head held high
The fittest with the best of you
That time
Now gone
I live now in a different land
Bent crooked old woman
Not sexy now

My heart that craves
The loving that I had
When body was blithe and young
Still flow
Of sweet loving in a parched land
Bathe me in your fountain
To sweet music
Of love


Time like a black blanket
Pressing on my face
I struggle to breathe
Suffocating I writhe twisting and turning a scream caught in my throat
Nothing gives the night is nigh
Taking me to a darker hell
Where even eternity will offer no release
Demons are all around me
I curse the day I was born
For this is the day I was born for we all must die


Last night I saw the sun
And knew that it was calling me
It saw me too
Had been waiting
Knowing that this moment would come
It was destined
Long before time began
Even before the world had been born
This place this time
Before all ages this time was waiting
And one day time shall be no more
All will have passed
Even the sun will have gone
But for this moment
The sun is
And it calls me
To the place that was waiting for me


Sit and watch the rainbeams dance for joy
Gurgling giggling jumping on their way
Let your heart within you hope employ

Staid so many of us are and oh so coy
Putting rules around our every day
Sit and watch the rainbeams dance for joy

Let not sour convention glee destroy
Let your laughter with your child’s mind play
Let your heart within you hope employ

Many things are sent us to annoy
Days that turn from brightness into grey
Sit and watch the rainbeams dance for joy

Let your mind go free fresh air enjoy
Nothing here can force you now to stay
Let your heart within you hope employ

Dance on softest moonbeams do not toy
With light that sings and sighs darkness away
Sit and watch the rainbeams dance for joy
Let your heart within you hope employ


In the setting sun the corn glows gold
And I remember times of old
When celebration filled the air
It seemed that no one had a care

Many times were stories told
Of carefree times within the fold
Of escapades then oh so bold
Of each they all had had their share
In the setting sun

If only now I could take hold
Of memories that off old tongues rolled
Now all there is is to sit and stare
As the day now dies my heart laid bare
Approaching is the winter’s cold
In the setting sun


It was Springtime and all the little doodleberries were jumping around everywhere for the joy of life. The sun was shining and the doodleberries were thinking about making lots of little doodleberries. Not very far away in the forest lived the chuckleberries.the doodleberries and the chuckleberries did not have much to do with each other but often the doodleberies could hear the chuckleberries chuckling in the distance. The doodleberries did not chuckle much but tended to dream a lot. They just did little squeaks here and there. One day a little doodleberry wandered away in a dream from all the other doodleberries. Suddenly he saw in the distance a most beautiful chuckleberry combing her golden hair. The sun was shining on it and seemed to be glistening. The little doodleberry was mesmerised. He had never seen anything so beautiful before. Softly and gently he began to approach the beautiful chuckleberry and as she became aware of him approaching she began to chuckle softly. She too was captivated.

He dreamed and she chuckled gently. Gradually they drew closer and started canoodling. Some months later some little creatures were born who dreamed and chuckled all at the same time. They were a very happy crowd and when they grew up they canoodled too. They remained a very happy crowd and became known as chuckledoodles, a new HYBRID race.


A mouse jumps up high in the sky
A camel walks right up my street
An elephant eats red cherry pie

A dog purrs and tickles my thigh
A horse climbs up on my feet
A mouse jumps up high in the sky

A flea asks us the question why
A crocodile jumps and gives me a treat
An elephant eats red cherry pie

A dinosaur squeaks and tells me a lie
A little lamb roars and a wolf starts to bleat
A mouse jumps up high in the sky

A zebra with stripes lies down in the rye
A bird perches and neighs on a stalk of wheat
An elephant eats red cherry pie

A parrot coos and then starts to cry
A polar bear melts in the summer heat
A mouse jumps up high in the sky
An elephant eats red cherry pie

I’ll get me coat!


The wind blows away my soul
Leaving an empty space
Where once love and light
Made an appearance
Sprinkled generously with compassion
Maybe in the dancing wind
The laughter will create anew
A soul imbued with the joy of mirth
Oiling the wheels of love light and compassion


The field offered its soul tonight
Raw, unadulterated,
White with the innocence of promise
Now silent after busyness
A moment of contemplation
A waiting time
When nature can be still, rest,
And in the silent peace
A family
Of Little Egrets wandered
But this was just a moment
Soon the ploughing will begin
New seeds sown
The silence broken
The cycle will begin again


What brought me to this place
I could not turn away
I came to collect my soul
I left it here years ago
It lies there in the churchyard
For many years I wandered
Not knowing who i was
Forced to leave my soul behind
By those who didn’t care
For many dead black days I knew
As many blows rained down on me
I thought that I could never live
Beneath the ground gushed red
My body broke my children gone
For they too could not live
A voice I heard then called me back
To the place where I was born
I found your grave behind the wall
Where you had held my soul
And from the ground had blossomed
Life that shall endless be.


Sometimes it is best to leave
The chains that lock up freedom
Though said to be for our protection
Blind eyes see through the deception
As the light shines
Into the darkness of evil
Presented by another name
Our souls were not meant to be chained
Nor our heart’s love
Freedom awaits us in diverse places
Where the sky meets the earth
And we dwell in the place of liminality
Where the veil is rent in two
Breaking the chains of earth


Surrendering to the darkness I sit,
Letting its arms wrap around me, rock me,
For by no other is my dark life lit,
Only in the dark can I truly see,
Waves of peace wash over my aching soul,
Soothing, calming my ever raging storm,
For I have tried so long to reach a goal
Not of my own making, how I was torn,
I knew that in the dark there was more light,
For in the dark I see with different eyes,
The eyes that walk by faith and not by sight,
And in the darkness now my spirits rise,
The light deceives false comfort offers me,
Embracing dark I can be truly free.


Through the mullioned windows I saw the sheep,
Illuminated by the sun,
As I gazed at them my spirit danced,
Then they disappeared behind the hill,
Now, again, all seemed dark,
I waited, hoping that they would come back.

To my delight they soon came back,
Huge was this flock of sheep,
When they returned it was no longer dark,
Again I could see the sun,
But they went again, behind the hill,
So I got on my feet and danced.

I remembered another dark day when I’d danced,
Though I knew he was not coming back,
With him I climbed that enormous hill,
Rugged, just as it was for the sheep,
I longed for him to see the sun,
So his journey would not be so dark.

I danced at his bedside that day in the dark,
Holding hands, we danced,
Many days we had spent in the sun,
But now I knew he was not coming back,
So my heart danced as I saw the sheep,
Coming out from behind the hill.

He once climbed that enormous hill,
Sometimes in the sun, sometimes in the dark,
I thought of him when I saw the sheep,
And remembered how we had danced,
Soon, none of us will be coming back,
May we always see the sun.

Even when in the dark we remember the sun,
Letting it guide us up the hill,
The one thing we know, we can never turn back,
Be forever in the dark,
All that will matter is how we danced,
May we take our cue from the sheep.

Sheep climb safely up the hill,
Whether in the sun or the dark,
I remember how on a dark day I danced, never looking back


In the last three weeks my life has changed so completely that it is unrecognisable. Whereas I used to be able to at least see shapes , though very blurred, I can no longer even see shapes. There is blackness in front of me. If I am holding my ipad in my hand I cannot see it at all.I cannot see the edge of the ipad and know where the screen is as I have no feeling in my hands. I have to guess where I am, can you even imagine trying to find the keyboard! I think my ipad has learned some choice words now!

Believe it or not however, I have, within the last week mastered the keyboard, though the method used is painfully slow. I have found that dictation does not work well at all, this probably a good job, given all the swear words I use. My ipad has also almost gone for a swim down the toilet. But progress is being made, it has taken me all morning to type this post and I have made up lots of new swear words.


When the going is rough
And the rough is in the going
Take me ih tide
To a better place
But first let me ride the waves
Tread on the stones
That sharpen my wit
And strengthen my resolve
And lead me to calmer shores
Where I can eat and enjoy
The fruits of my labour
Lie in the sun
And savour the delights of heaven


Hetty stood in the middle of a muddy field with the rain pouring down , looking at the balloon and spluttered loudly

“What the hell am I doing here.”

She was a new recruit and had expected life in the WAAFs to be more exciting than this. It was 1941 and two years into World War II. She had run away from home, home being an isolated farm in Lincolnshire. She had lied about her age, in order to get in, desperate to get away from the boredom of the farm, not to mention the lack of boys and she was hoping to have a good time. Instead she found herself in the middle of this miserable muddy field looking at a stupid balloon with not one boy in sight. If this was being a Balloon Girl then they could stick it, she thought. She was almost relieved when her best friend reported her for being underage.


Today a stick began to beat,
I could feel it on my flesh,
And with its beating came my heart,
Pulsing to its timing,
In times past I had known this pain,
Re-ignited by his words

Sticks and stones came in his words,
With each syllable the beat
Who says they cannot cause deep pain
And searing of the flesh?
He really chose his timing,
When the darkness hit my heart

A deep ache filled my heart
That could not be told in words,
I knew he’d got the right timing,
And maybe even the beat,
To guarantee my flesh
Would wither in its pain

The brain remembers pain,
As does the aching heart,
These things are in my flesh,
Do not despise these words,
Just like the stick they beat,
Oh what a glorious timing

Life follows its own timing,
Knowing your deepest pain,
I never will be beat,
Be ready now, my heart,
Remember they’re only words,
They cannot mar your flesh

See now your living flesh,
Defying such dark timing
Don’t listen to these words,
They cannot give you pain,
Strong now is your heart,
Just listen to its beat


Down the lane live many lives
That only in my mind I know
Though names are so familiar
Many years have passed since I was in this place
And I know not what you do
Or what you ever did
But here I sit on hallowed ground
Brimming full of stories
My reverie is broken
By the sound of horses going home
Clip clop clip clop
A wave a smile
I know you but I do not know you
Horses are always the same
And one day soon
They will bear me home
At the setting of the sun
The setting of the sun


I am absolutely mortified in looking for your comments to respond to I found many of you in spam. I did not put you there and my heart was gravely saddened they were all such beautiful comments I need to apologise to Sadje, Marieke, VJ, Jim Wingrove, Revived Writer and there may be others but hubby is still searching. I have approved all these beautiful comments that we found and I am so sad this happened xxxx


The room that day
Dreadful darkness covered
All the things that you knew
A path
Before you called “The Wilderness”
Desolation filled you
No one could walk
With you.

Hard rocks
Were your pillow
There were no softened words
Nor warm bed to take your body
So cold
The world
That wrapped its tentacles around
Your captured bleeding soul
But then you found

Bloomed as you walked
Along that lonely path
Such beauty you had never seen
And now
You knew the value of deep pain
That all could be redeemed
And blossomed red
Your joy


I am hoping to go back to your comments today and respond to any I have missed. I have been reading them but hadn’t been able to respond to all of them, but all of you have been wonderfully supportive of me. You have all kept me going and given me hope and a reason to carry on living, thank you. I am slowly getting to grips with keyboard and navigating the site with voiceover. Hubby has been very stretched, big hugs to all and please imagine yourself receiving a huge bouquet of flowers from me xxx


See now, the grey turn to silver
Threads in dark winter’s night,
The promise of golden days ahead
When summer’s sun my soul will warm

Threads in dark winter’s night
Paint a picture in the trees
When summer’s sun my soul will warm
The picture will come to life

Paint a picture in the trees
Though winter’s cold my soul does chill
The picture will come to life
As the earth moves round to face the sun

Though winter’s cold my soul does chill
Soon the thickening ice will melt
As the earth moves round to face the sun
The picture becomes complete

Soon the thickening ice will melt
And I will dance in summer’s sun
The picture becoming complete
As grey turns to silver then to gold


I see the stars in the vast night sky
And wonder what there is beyond
I know I can reach them if I try
Nothing for me now is too high
I cannot let life pass me by
I do not need a magic wand
I see the stars in the vast night sky
And wonder what there is beyond


When death comes it creeps
As if not wanting to be seen
Silently it wends its way
In many different attires
Bringing you to your knees
Never speaking its name
Or is it you
That does not want to speak its name
For fear of rousing it
To speak it is to know it
But you do not want to know
And yet……….
Deep inside you know its name
Know it is coming
The one thing that you cannot win over
The one thing that you cannot control
And oh, how you have controlled, all your life
But now is the big showdown
And we all know who will win


Crunch, beneath my feet,
Splinters ,
Red and gold and brown,
Rich colours sharp as glass,
Now crushed with jagged points
Daggers drawing blood.
“Give me the Spring” I pleaded,
“Just the Spring,
And then do what you will.”
I knew the score,
Although I tried to hide,
Denied the truth I knew inside.
There were no signs that I could see,
Nor pain to waken fear,
Until the day that red appeared,
The blood of autumn’s death.
I’d had my Spring,
My summer too,
Now autumn brought me winter’s death,
Red, fading into white, and blue.


Last night you fell
And I fell with you
For you are my light
Though often you don’t know it
And as I wake
I hear you breathing
And know that all is well
And wish for better days for you
That all could be peace again
Just like it used to be
But for us there is no peace
Just the daily struggle
Existing is no joke
Never did we think life could be so hard
And as they say
“There’s many a slip twixt cup and lip”
This we know well
But where is the cup?
And where is the lip?
I see neither
And you fall between them
I heard the thud
Will we ever reach the lip?
You and I together
Drinking on the shores of eternity?
For whither thou goest
I will go
Wherever thou lodgest
I will lodge
Last night you fell
And I fell with you